Cantar De Procella

I'm scared.
I look around me,and I see anger,despair,fear. Everyone has gone numb,everyone is still in shock. Most of us have by now realized what is really happening. Greece is getting sold. You must either be stupid or severly disillusioned (to the point where you gotta seek help,really) to not see what's going on around you. I was clueless about economical matters myself,but I learned. I had to. And I'm digusted. Everything that I am revolts when I see the carnage, the ruthless malice with which the few treat the hoi polloi. I too have found myself wanting to just go out there and smash everything that stands before me. But I'm not 19 any more, and I can understand things differently now. For better or worse. But it still angers me. I find myself wishing I could take all the Greek politicians of the last 34 years and hang them. They're the scum of the earth, the lowest of the low. I am actually glad that I know enough of life to know for a fact that they'll pay for it,by watching their kin decaying into mental illness or worse. That humans who violate and disrespect life so much to get blinded by profit and step on corpses for their own benefit will reap exactly what they saw : pain,anger,despair.
I'm scared.
I find myself being numb most of the time these days. It's not from MS,no. That's another teacher, but I've learned to live with it. For now. I've been feeling as if I'm mourning something,and only recently I realized what it was : my dreams. Ever since I can remember myself I wanted to work with people,preferably through psychology. Make a difference damn it,help people,try make this world a lil better,in any way I could. God I've tried. Still am. But when faced with the prospect of not having food, not having electricity,not having access to medical care, what the fuck are those dreams worth? Not much,I'll tell you that. There's a part of me that revolts, that just doesn't want to accept this and is struggling to leave, sending CVs in Australia, Canada, Denmark,anywhere,to just abandon ship and go live, shouting that I'm not gonna allow this, that I may be Greek but first of all I'm human,that I'm not gonna sit around and pay for someone else's sins. And another part of me thinks that this is gonna catch up with me no matter where I go. And then I find myself with nothing left to say.
I'm scared.
Psychologists say that every crisis is there to teach us something. It's a chance,an opportunity for us to reavulate what's important in life,to reflect and see ourselves a lil clearer. They're right. I know that, in the long run,this is gonna be a good thing. It's gonna clear the air, and hopefully get rid of a system that's so corrupted it's just gotta end. But god damn it, I haven't intentionally hurt a soul in my life,ever since I can remember myself I've always struggled to get by,trying to lead my life where I wanted to,trying to be creative and true to my heart. I just cannot accept that I'll have to pay for this as well. It's so fucking unfair. And yeah I know, life ain't fair, wake up girl and all. And I know most people don't think it's fair either. And that all each generation can do is deal with what's handed to her. My grandfather had to go to war,I have to go through this. I just...don't want to. There,I said it. I don't want to!
But then again...I want this to end. I just wish we had a government that had the balls to tell the IMF to fuck off and leave us alone. I just wish we'd be left alone to yes, go bankrupt and have to live off the land again. Consume what we produce. My skills would be worthless then,I know. Psychotherapists aren't needed in a society where social ties are strong. Cause everyone's there for each other.Everyone has a role,the community takes care of itself. And there wouldn't be any need for languages or tech savvy. Life would be..simpler. And may be happier. In time.
I don't know what's gonna happen. And may be I don't need to know. But I'll be damned if I keep quiet about this any more.