Cantar De Procella

[02/01/2012 17:34:36] Rhanite: Right, so. I'm on the mad quest to make Selanine more than a voluptuous smutpuppet, and actually try to make her a legitimate character in spite of her appearence and features.
[02/01/2012 17:35:27] Rhanite: So in working in extension of the story I've been constructing around Mira, I'm making a stab at giving her a more tangible personality and background story
[02/01/2012 17:36:16] Fay: woa woa woa
[02/01/2012 17:36:30] Fay: Shock No1 : this isn't for work?
[02/01/2012 17:36:41] Fay: Shock No2: Selanine? A legit char????? How come???
[02/01/2012 17:36:47] Fay: Shock No3 :SELANINE???????????
[02/01/2012 17:36:48] Fay: :P
[02/01/2012 17:37:16] Rhanite: I know, right?
[02/01/2012 17:37:37] Fay: I swear you should be having that line on a t shirt and wearing it all the time.
[02/01/2012 17:37:44] Fay: It's becoming your motto,if it isn't already.
[02/01/2012 17:37:48] Rhanite: Hah!
[02/01/2012 17:37:52] Fay: Huh.
[02/01/2012 17:37:56] Fay: Is she still a herm?
[02/01/2012 17:38:02] Rhanite: Verily
[02/01/2012 17:38:11] Rhanite: Its a challenge, remember?
[02/01/2012 17:38:36] Rhanite: Of course, going to underplay the physical aspects of it and try to get under her skin abit more
[02/01/2012 17:38:41] Rhanite: Regardless
[02/01/2012 17:38:58] Fay: I GOTTA ask,Elan.
[02/01/2012 17:39:03] Fay: Why?
[02/01/2012 17:39:08] Rhanite: For teh lulz?
[02/01/2012 17:39:12] Rhanite: Because its a challenge?
[02/01/2012 17:39:27] Rhanite: Wait, why what exactly?
[02/01/2012 17:40:41] Fay: Why Selanine? Why now? And....I remember most of her visual repsrentations online but I didn't know there was a story behind her. I mean,okay,some basic stuff's there in her interaction with Mira,but,is there more ? Or that's what you're gonna try make now?
[02/01/2012 17:40:50] Fay: How did trucker guy do btw?
[02/01/2012 17:41:40] Rhanite: Why Selanine? Because I want to include her in the story. Started writing a side-along story with a friend from FA who is writing a longer story that features Mira as a prominent character
[02/01/2012 17:42:12] Rhanite: And because she's my character that I've used, developed and featured canon to Mira
[02/01/2012 17:42:51] Rhanite: And because I want to see if I can take an oversexed character design and make a proper, likeable and maybe even deep or complex character out of it
[02/01/2012 17:42:59] Rhanite: That would be a worthy challenge, I think
[02/01/2012 17:43:38] Rhanite: If I can show say... you, a picture of her, then serve up a story, and afterwards you might even like her as a character, despite the outrageous character design
[02/01/2012 17:43:38] Fay: What does "canon to" mean?
[02/01/2012 17:43:46] Rhanite: part of the official story
[02/01/2012 17:45:12] Rhanite: so... a canon event is relevant and "true" in the story... like uh... Arthas going darkside
[02/01/2012 17:45:24] Fay: Yeah yeah got it,ta
[02/01/2012 17:46:58] Fay: Alright,got it. Hmmm....right.So. I'm gonna need to take a look at all your depictions of her again,which I can do now. I'm gonna need you to take me through her "story" so far when you can,everything you've ever written/thought about her.
[02/01/2012 17:47:07] Fay: After that,we can get rolling.
[02/01/2012 17:47:21] Fay: Only,I gotta go for dinner soon,have guests over.
[02/01/2012 17:47:49] Rhanite: Righty. I'll serve up what I've got here then - leave you time to mull on it - and then take a look at it later when I'm home and you're free again yeah
[02/01/2012 17:49:11] Fay: This...isn't something you expect to complete in one afternoon I trust,right?
[02/01/2012 17:49:22] Rhanite: Not at all
[02/01/2012 17:49:25] Fay: Oka
[02/01/2012 17:49:37] Fay: And,srsly,how did trucker guy do?
[02/01/2012 17:50:16] Rhanite: Huh? Oh he ended up being a suspect but not culprit - the quest is still in testing
[02/01/2012 17:50:21] Rhanite: out of my hands atm tho
[02/01/2012 17:51:21] Fay: Right. Which leaves one other thing : where's my drink?
[02/01/2012 17:51:34] Rhanite: Behind you
[02/01/2012 17:51:43] Fay: That's tea.
[02/01/2012 17:51:57] Rhanite: Or is it...?
[02/01/2012 17:52:01] Fay: ELAN!
[02/01/2012 17:52:11] Fay: Quid pro quo! Take it or leave it!
[02/01/2012 17:52:24] Rhanite: Rhanite laughs
[02/01/2012 17:52:40] Fay: You mull on that one-I gotta go get ready! Guests,arriving,soon!
[02/01/2012 17:53:09] Rhanite: Righto. I'll post the stuff here - leave it for you to peruse at your leisure
[02/01/2012 17:54:34] Fay: You do that. And I'm serious. I want my drink.
[02/01/2012 17:54:45] Rhanite: So - the personality I'm aiming for is that of tough, hotheaded, passionate anarchist. This is built on the core concept of a walking libido with almost a complete lack of any inhibitions. everything is felt very keenly (as opposed to the cold, calm and detached sociopath Mira).
There are only a few established facts about Sel: Her father was/is a psychiatrist who worked at a correctional facility for the criminally insane. He was also the man in charge of treating a young Mira.
Sel has a twin sister (regards Azure as being younger though).
Sel was born a Husky - Mira's Equinizer treatment is canon - so Sel still thinks like a predator and carnivore, despite being a horse.
[02/01/2012 17:54:47] Rhanite: Hehe
[02/01/2012 17:55:03] Rhanite: Now for the story drummed up so far:
[02/01/2012 17:55:24] Rhanite: A controlled childhood. Father knows best, molds his little daughters into perfect examples of a functional family. Bedtime at nine, please sir and ma'am. Mother happily plays along - they have such a nice and well behaved family! As little Sel grows up she feels these urges and needs coiled up and repressed - its chaos inside, imposed by another's control from outside.  Do as father says - prim and proper. Mind your sister.
One day, father brings home a scrawny, quiet thing.  Sel notes the van parked across the street, the white-clad burly men camping out in it and wonders why. The little cat is so calm, plays fathers game but she isn't bound by the rules - she uses them. You can do that?
Wow.
The little cat does something bad however. Something father won't talk about and mother looks so pale. Covers their daughters' ears. And the little cat is gone once more. She never existed. Life resumes.
But the impression sticks. The rules aren't absolute. Father isn't absolute.
Sel grows older, puberty hits, hormones get bad. Father becomes even more strict and now Sel begins to tug and thrash in her bonds.
She does something she shouldn't have. If father finds out, it will be bad. Worse than a scolding, worse than a beating. She'll disappear, like the little cat did.  little sister was there too. Mind your sister, Sel. Protect her, keep her safe.
She runs. Takes sister with her and disappears. Off the map, off the grid - out of the city and into the darkness beyond the streelamps of the sleepy little town.
She is free.
[02/01/2012 17:56:42] Rhanite: I'm interested in two things specifically: How does the story work - any thoughts/corrections/critique? and what did Sel do - that necessitated her kidnapping her sister and running away. Is it important to know?
[02/01/2012 17:57:02] Rhanite: Right, leaving this here - you get your drink and I'mma head on home. Haffun with the guests!
[02/01/2012 20:51:18] Fay: Right.
[02/01/2012 20:51:36] Rhanite: Oh? Back allready then?
[02/01/2012 20:52:35] Fay: Yeah.
[02/01/2012 20:53:08] Fay: You're gonna have to explain to me all that born-husky turned-horse part,cause I don't know it/get it.
[02/01/2012 20:53:09] Fay: And
[02/01/2012 20:53:14] Fay: the herm part as well
[02/01/2012 20:55:02] Rhanite: Right first part is relatively simple. Instead of retconning and saying "Oh yeah I drew Sel as a husky but she is REALLY a horse" - then I had Mira zap Sel with a big sciency machine that facilitated the transformation
[02/01/2012 20:55:22] Rhanite: There's a four-page poorly drawn minicomic on my gallery with it somewhere
[02/01/2012 20:55:37] Fay: the equinizer?
[02/01/2012 20:55:43] Rhanite: Thats it yeah
[02/01/2012 20:55:45] Fay: k
[02/01/2012 20:55:55] Rhanite: The second query. Uh - what needs explaining?
[02/01/2012 20:56:12] Fay: Was she born a herm?
[02/01/2012 20:57:46] Rhanite: Its not terribly important, but for the sake of argument lets say yes. I'm making the assumption for the setting that they are just another relatively natural occurrence. If we have dragons and hybrids and all the rest - why limit the diversity to species
[02/01/2012 20:57:54] Rhanite: The joys of fiction
[02/01/2012 21:00:21] Fay: Cause stories are read by human beings,and if you want them to like/hate a char,you gotta appeal to something they can relate to/hate. It's easy,pulling it off with species. Dragons? Suuuure. Eight headed beasts? Bring it on. Main character? Yeah. S/he can be deformed,may be even a couple extra-something,but it's gotta be relatable,to some extent. Even if s/he's dark.
[02/01/2012 21:00:37] Fay: But anyway,that's my point of view,and this is your story,so I'll stick to the matter at hand.
[02/01/2012 21:01:15] Fay: If you say that in Sel's world,herms are something that occurs naturally,then so be it. Will go with that.
[02/01/2012 21:02:58] Fay: In all honestly,I find it hard to take Sel seriously,but then again,I got a hunch that's part of what you want,so again,no harm done.
[02/01/2012 21:05:15] Rhanite: Freaky mad science is also an option - this isn't a story I plan to like - publish or anything. It's a pet project
[02/01/2012 21:14:34] Fay: *has that tickling sensation that drives her to have a for-the-sake-of-it argumentative discussion about what makes a good story*
[02/01/2012 21:14:38] Fay: *resists*
[02/01/2012 21:14:54] Rhanite: Fail the save, fail the save!
[02/01/2012 21:15:05] Fay: *laughs*
[02/01/2012 21:15:13] Rhanite: Critique is encouraged! Thats how ya become better
[02/01/2012 21:15:20] Fay: You're gonna force me go make tea aren't ya
[02/01/2012 21:16:10] Rhanite: [Force Tea] *waves hand infront of you* This is the beverage you are looking for.
[02/01/2012 21:16:42] Fay: [mechanical voice] This is the beverage I've been looking for. Must..make Assam tea.
[02/01/2012 21:16:52] Fay: (but not the drink you scoundrel! That's on you! brb! )
[02/01/2012 21:17:08] Rhanite: Yes, woe is me for not ecnouraging you to drink
[02/01/2012 21:17:18] Rhanite: what a villian I am
[02/01/2012 21:25:58] Fay: So.
[02/01/2012 21:26:02] Fay: Choose your weapon.
[02/01/2012 21:26:12] Fay: Voice or typewrite?
[02/01/2012 21:35:56] Fay: Roooight,gonna play some SWs then
[02/01/2012 21:37:14] Rhanite: Typewrite works - got roped into a SW flashpoint after a trip to the kitchen for cooking. Resume later perhaps, at your leisure?
[02/01/2012 21:41:15] Fay: kk
[03/01/2012 10:22:12] Rhanite: 'morning Fay,
I apologize for spacing out on you yesterday - you were kind enough to indulge and offer to help me with something, and I flaked out.
That wasn't fair or proper of me, and I'm sorry for it.
[03/01/2012 10:24:06] Rhanite: Also, insert brofist here [                |                |                |                ] for the Poets of the Fall lyrics.
[03/01/2012 10:24:56] Fay: I indulged myself and got this really aromatic brew of Arabic coffee. Here...have a cup. Remind me though...milk,no sugar?
[03/01/2012 10:25:59] Rhanite: I envy you with the intensity of a quasar
[03/01/2012 10:26:17] Rhanite: And indeed, well remembered
[03/01/2012 10:27:31] Fay: Apology accepted. Tis cool.
[03/01/2012 10:27:42] Fay: At work,I presume?
[03/01/2012 10:28:32] Rhanite: Just sat my fine ass down, yeah. Morning meeting in a few mins, and then a day's worth of work and writing - quests on worktime, Mira and Sel stories on breaktime
[03/01/2012 10:28:34] Fay: And yeah..hadn't listened to the POets in ages,so again,I indulged myself.
[03/01/2012 10:28:40] Rhanite: Right on
[03/01/2012 10:29:04] Fay: Getting ready for my phone interview later in the afternoon here.
[03/01/2012 10:29:18] Fay: And fighting my owh demons when it comes to standards of living,heh.
[03/01/2012 10:30:03] Rhanite: Pray tell?
[03/01/2012 10:32:13] Fay: Amsterdam. Booking.com. Team leader at a callcentre. I know the job. Don't like it,but with the situation in Greece,I ain't gonna play hard to get. Spent two hours already researching living costs,and it's expensive. To rent a place that I call decent,you need 1k euros. And my salary,IF I get a job offer,will be around 2500 gross. May be a bit more,but dunno yet. With Dutch tax rates,that comes down to 1600 euros net/month.
[03/01/2012 10:33:10] Fay: Simple math says it's gonna be really hard to go by if I have to give 1k for rent only.
[03/01/2012 10:49:58] Rhanite: I know what ya mean (well, sorta. Its not as bad as all that of course). Cost of Living has skyrocketed and I'm thanking my stars that I have a cushy an agreement as roomie-ing with Gus. Means a rent of a paltry 3k DKR. The pinch is felt mostly on that food prices are bordering on unreasonable now. Its getting difficult to cook even a single meal for less than 100 DKR - just a few years ago, I could feed a 7-day week for 300-ish
[03/01/2012 10:51:02] Rhanite: persistant economic crisis and mad ifnlation is a bad combo. Still, barely comperable to the political cesspool you're trapped in (no offense meant)
[03/01/2012 10:51:35] Rhanite: Even the mellow Dutch seem to be feeling the squeeze though. Tough stuff
[03/01/2012 10:54:02] Fay: None taken. It's really bad here. The state is literally falling apart. And yes,recession is everywhere. But I find recession means different things in different countries.In Greece,it means families taking their young kids to social care cause they can't support them any more and 1 in 4 ppl being unemployed. The ones with a job still,are seeing salary cuts all the time,food prices are insane,and are being askd to work 12-14 hours/day,or else. In Norway,it's really,really different :P And the Dutch...well,their unemployment is like...2%? That's peanuts! :P
[03/01/2012 10:56:16] Rhanite: Very true
[03/01/2012 10:57:59] Fay: I have to run to the bakery,be back in 15. Poke if/when you wanna talk stories,I'll be around.
[03/01/2012 10:58:31] Rhanite: Outstanding, I'll be here all day (except when in meetings. Got two today)
[03/01/2012 13:20:55] Fay: It's impossible NOT to be in Jundland on Tattooine and NOT think of Jutland.
[03/01/2012 15:09:44] Rhanite: Hah!
[03/01/2012 15:09:47] Rhanite: I know whatcha mean
[03/01/2012 15:10:15] Rhanite: And back for about an hour before the meeting I'm dreading :P (the one to reveal what'll happen with me and this studio)
[03/01/2012 15:10:44] Fay: !
[03/01/2012 15:10:48] Fay: Already?!
[03/01/2012 15:11:01] Fay: I mean,you've been there for what,a month? Two?
[03/01/2012 15:11:15] Rhanite: Just under a month
[03/01/2012 15:11:26] Fay: H00m
[03/01/2012 15:11:46] Fay: Well,whatever happens,it's gonna be for the best. I'm sure of it.
[03/01/2012 15:12:00] Fay: Haw,funny. My interview's in an hour as well.
[03/01/2012 15:12:23] Rhanite: I'll cross my fingers if you corss yours yo
[03/01/2012 15:12:32] Fay: POSSIBLE LIFE CHANGING HAPPENINGS HAPPENINGN SIMULTANEOUSLY!
[03/01/2012 15:12:37] Fay: Tis a conspiracy,I tell you.
[03/01/2012 15:12:42] Rhanite: 'tis indeed
[03/01/2012 15:12:56] Fay: There. Even crossed my toes.
[03/01/2012 15:13:08] Rhanite: I crossed my ears. I dunno how I managed that
[03/01/2012 15:13:26] Fay: That Vita gro did it.
[03/01/2012 15:14:43] Rhanite: heeh
[03/01/2012 15:15:10] Rhanite: Oh yes so - grabbing my excuse for a break now so... poke, if you have the time and wherewithal
[03/01/2012 15:15:44] Fay: You can concentrate,even tho you know you have such an important meeting soon?
[03/01/2012 15:15:52] Fay: Crikey
[03/01/2012 15:19:03] Rhanite: Well, on the home stretch here it's a waiting game - so realisticaly I may as well center and rest myself with something enjoyable instead of expending energy and focus on something unproductive like worrying or stressing about it
[03/01/2012 15:20:29] Rhanite: If I wanted/needed more prep or whatever, it's too late by now anyway. I got my clean and nice clothes on, I had a bite of lunch and a cuppa joe. I've done my very best and made the best impression I could so... its out of my hands. No point in sweating it. Deal with the results when they arrive.
[03/01/2012 15:21:10] Fay: :)
[03/01/2012 15:22:10] Fay: Alright then.
[03/01/2012 15:22:48] Fay: For what time we have,let us mentally spar!
[03/01/2012 15:22:50] Fay: Sparr
[03/01/2012 15:23:03] Fay: whichever
[03/01/2012 15:23:07] Rhanite: en garde!
[03/01/2012 15:23:48] Fay: *raises sword to defensive position*
[03/01/2012 15:24:12] Rhanite: So, to pick something tangible, you where raising a point yesterday when we left off
[03/01/2012 15:24:44] Rhanite: Something regarding the nature of Sel's gender and "for the sake of it" arguments and whathaveyou.
[03/01/2012 15:25:16] Rhanite: Critique on the matter to make it palatable, I surmise
[03/01/2012 15:29:29] Fay: Alright. I'll speak openly and honestly,as usual. Please,bear in mind this is in under any circumstances supposed to be offensive or judgmental. It's my opinion and view of things and nothing more,nothing less. This is your story,your character,your everything,so it's your call. But you asked for input.So here goes.
[03/01/2012 15:29:42] Fay: in under no*
[03/01/2012 15:30:08] Rhanite: Duly noted
[03/01/2012 15:30:46] Fay: To start with,the mere idea of trying to add depth to a character like Sel presents itself with some very obious disadvantages.
[03/01/2012 15:30:50] Fay: Obvious too.
[03/01/2012 15:31:39] Fay: She's a herm,and one that's been drawn as an oversexed one. To manage to drag the reader away from those traits of hers,is gonna be a pain.
[03/01/2012 15:32:15] Rhanite: True, go on
[03/01/2012 15:32:58] Fay: When you were describing the personality you wanna go,for her,I instantly had her in my mind. Big time. I can safely say, and call me pompous if you must,that I can make your Selanine vibrate like a person with true depth. BUT.
[03/01/2012 15:33:30] Fay: I asked i she was born a herm,cause even if we accept something like that can happen to such an extent,it would be something that defined her psyche and life,for ever.
[03/01/2012 15:34:01] Fay: Now,i do understand though,that all this is gonna be taking place in a fantastic world. And when I think,I think in RL terms.
[03/01/2012 15:34:08] Fay: For char development that is.
[03/01/2012 15:34:23] Fay: Why? Read what I said yesterday about what imho makes a good story.
[03/01/2012 15:34:29] Rhanite: Touchpoints in reality are required for relateable fantasy
[03/01/2012 15:35:17] Fay: Precisely. Unless you're really,really,REALLY writing only for yourself,and sorry but,I ll never believe that anyone ONLY writes for himself whatever they say,you gotta take the reader into consideration.
[03/01/2012 15:36:08] Rhanite: I'll concede to that
[03/01/2012 15:37:15] Fay: There are hundreds of stories out there. Thousands. The really good ones though,few. Personally,after having read quite a bit,I don't fall for picturesque descriptions or meticulate research etc etc. Give me characters. Give me characters I see the progression of,characters so alive I feel as if they're in the room with me,looking at me. Give me a character I can love,I can hate,or hell,even a character that's so complex that I can't even figure out whether I like him or not.
[03/01/2012 15:37:27] Fay: (enter J.R.R. Martin's genius)
[03/01/2012 15:40:32] Rhanite: Well said
[03/01/2012 15:41:57] Rhanite: This allows an argument that I feel can be valid - and which explains the oppertunity afforded now then. In attempting this character - there's a duality that remains largely unexplored that has the potential to make this a complex character
[03/01/2012 15:43:29] Rhanite: But its not something I can hope to construct on my own. If we work with the assumption that we have this person, these people even that are subject to the full brunt of both genders all at once - how does that affect their psyche, their development and their personalities. And what does it afford in relation to the desired  design presented in the short background story
[03/01/2012 15:43:41] Fay: It can. Don't get me wrong,with the foundations,you can do wonders. My only,again,personal,problem is,that the way she's now,she's...damn it,sorry Elan,I really don't mean it in offensive way,but she's juvenile.
[03/01/2012 15:44:04] Rhanite: I don't dispute that either
[03/01/2012 15:44:14] Fay: So it all comes down to what you want.
[03/01/2012 15:44:19] Rhanite: The charcater is/was built on a juvenile idea and impulse
[03/01/2012 15:45:16] Fay: I was browsing your fur affinity gallery again yesterday,to look for Sel illustrations and all. And do you know which one I found myself lingering on the most? Which illustration I mean.
[03/01/2012 15:45:53] Fay: Don't remember the title now,but it was that trade or comission you did for someone,where you have a fury male smoking a cigarette while leaning against a wall.
[03/01/2012 15:46:03] Fay: THAT image,was powerful.
[03/01/2012 15:46:25] Fay: A personal moment,and the way you had drawn him,with his head down,the way he held the cigarette,everything,told a tale.
[03/01/2012 15:46:27] Fay: I loved it.
[03/01/2012 15:46:32] Rhanite: Ahh that one. Hehe. Well yeah, thats the picture that began the development of the setting I'm not enraptured with creating
[03/01/2012 15:47:30] Rhanite: That character is the protagonist of the story the friend I mentioned is/has been writing about - that outlines the gritty and cruel world and follows some very damaged people
[03/01/2012 15:47:54] Fay: Good to know. WHich brings me to my other point :
[03/01/2012 15:48:15] Fay: Remember when,back in the day,we had one of our talks,and we were talking about how it should be about fun when it comes to learning?
[03/01/2012 15:48:26] Rhanite: Yeah?
[03/01/2012 15:48:33] Fay: I need to elaborate on that one.
[03/01/2012 15:48:39] Rhanite: All ears
[03/01/2012 15:48:59] Fay: When it comes to learning skills,getting qualifications,you know,that kind of stuff,then hell yeah. It SHOULD be about fun.
[03/01/2012 15:49:01] Fay: But.
[03/01/2012 15:49:37] Fay: When it comes to life lessons,the important stuff,unfortunately human being only learn through pain. Hardship.
[03/01/2012 15:49:44] Fay: And that,gives depth.
[03/01/2012 15:50:07] Rhanite: 's in part why drama is the clichée that it is
[03/01/2012 15:50:42] Fay: Yes,to an extent. There are people who go through shitloads and learn nothing. And others who go through fewer,but get the idea first time.
[03/01/2012 15:50:45] Rhanite: With you and agreeing so far anyway
[03/01/2012 15:51:31] Fay: Glad we're on the same page. Now,just in case,I need to clarify,I'm not saying we should go and actively seek pain so we can learn. That's stupid.
[03/01/2012 15:52:25] Rhanite: Of course not. Instead, perhaps we can agree on/ summarize it as that Failure is a better teacher than Success. Failure forces things into perspective through, among other things, pain and struggle that follows in its wake
[03/01/2012 15:54:23] Fay: I'm gonna be a stickler here and say I'm not very fond of terms like "success/failure",the western world has become obsessed with them,it's as if you're either successful or you shouldn't be alive these days. Life is so many more things,it's not only about those two damn it. Emotional growth,maturity,comes with a number of things. Loss,is a major one. But loss doesn't mean failure.
[03/01/2012 15:54:43] Fay: Hold on,lemme try and find something I hope I ve kept,a note.
[03/01/2012 15:54:48] Rhanite: ok, percieved failure
[03/01/2012 15:55:53] Rhanite: since perception of self and the worlds around oneself has an influence on personal development
[03/01/2012 15:59:08] Fay: It does,but again,I'm not talking about perceived failure,I'm talking about....damn it,I'm talking about your stoamch turning to a knot and your chest feeling hollowed out cause you've lost someone,something,I'm talking about giving it your best and finding out it's not enough,I'm talking about investing and finding out it wasn't worth it. I'm talking about...meeeeeeh,can I use an example from your life? As in,do you allow me to?
[03/01/2012 16:01:23] Rhanite: Knock yourself out
[03/01/2012 16:01:38] Rhanite: not literally
[03/01/2012 16:02:02] Fay: Funny guy
[03/01/2012 16:02:10] Rhanite: sorry
[03/01/2012 16:02:58] Fay: In any case. Your father's painting. The one you showed me when I was in Aalborg. I took one look at it,a good look admittingly,and it brought tears to my eyes. And I remember saying "that's what it should be about,damn it!".
[03/01/2012 16:03:22] Rhanite: Uhuh
[03/01/2012 16:03:22] Fay: Now,at later times,I often pondered,on the incident. Doesn't happen very often,that.
[03/01/2012 16:03:36] Rhanite: Rhanite nods
[03/01/2012 16:04:03] Fay: Last time it did was when I saw Michelangelo's La Pieta in the Vatican. That statue,is freaking alive.
[03/01/2012 16:04:47] Fay: Now. Art like that,art that MOVES you,that evokes emotions,is hard to come by.
[03/01/2012 16:07:05] Fay: I've never met your father,I know shit-all about him. But I know,that at some point in his life,when he had his wife and his two sons with him,he felt happy. Complete.Whole.And I know,that somehow,he earned that. It doesn't matter if it lasted or not,it doesn't even matter if someone asks him and he says otherwise. The feeling,somehow,sometime,was there. And this is NOT me reading too much into it,I know what I felt.
[03/01/2012 16:07:25] Fay: To make my point : THAT,is Art. THAT,is depth. THAT,requires life.
[03/01/2012 16:08:41] Fay: If Selanine wants depth,she has to grow up somehow.
[03/01/2012 16:09:24] Fay: Growing up,requires hardship,experience,and guts.
[03/01/2012 16:09:25] Rhanite: I think I hear what you're saying
[03/01/2012 16:10:33] Rhanite: Ok, I got that meeting in a moment, but I am so wanting to continue this conversation when we're able - yeah?
[03/01/2012 16:10:45] Rhanite: I knew your input was the right one to seek
[03/01/2012 16:11:07] Fay: :)
[03/01/2012 16:11:20] Fay: Go duzzle them ;)
[03/01/2012 16:11:26] Fay: dazzle
[03/01/2012 16:11:36] Rhanite: Yes ma'am
[03/01/2012 18:18:39] Rhanite: Aaand hey again - wow... crappy weather is crappy. How'd the interview go then?
[03/01/2012 18:19:18] Fay: It went well. I'll know within a week whether they'll get me to Amsterdam for an assessment and an inerview.
[03/01/2012 18:19:22] Fay: And you?
[03/01/2012 18:20:46] Rhanite: Well enough - best they can offer is to get their best people on working out a job-training agreement with the people managing my "activation" - if it works I get to stay on for at least 6 months with signifigantly better pay than I have now - though I still have to make token effort to seek out other job offers
[03/01/2012 18:29:01] Fay: Who are the people managing your "activation"?
[03/01/2012 18:29:16] Fay: (pushes images of Elan-droid away)
[03/01/2012 18:30:24] Rhanite: A consultant firm called Ballisager
[03/01/2012 18:31:02] Fay: I see. Meanwhile,though,you'll keep on going there or that's it till further notice?
[03/01/2012 18:32:54] Rhanite: Well, until the ninth anyway. Unless it sorted then, I'm legally obligated to discontinue my internship and begun another internship elsewhere. If I have not managed to find one (and none of the places I've written and tried to contact could help me), then I spend a month with Ballisager
[03/01/2012 18:33:12] Rhanite: while I seek out the next 4 weeks' internship - or get hired by someone
[03/01/2012 18:33:39] Rhanite: If I want to continue to get some sort income anyway *snickers*
[03/01/2012 18:34:20] Fay: :)
[03/01/2012 18:35:00] Rhanite: Indeed
[03/01/2012 18:37:45] Rhanite: So!
[03/01/2012 18:38:06] Rhanite: With that under our belts - let me know if you want to pick up the discussion where it left off
[03/01/2012 18:38:43] Fay: need a few mins
[03/01/2012 18:38:47] Fay: will poke
[03/01/2012 18:38:53] Rhanite: Good girl
[03/01/2012 18:52:31] Fay: LOL
[03/01/2012 18:52:47] Fay: Seriously universe,stop kidding around!
[03/01/2012 18:53:08] Rhanite: eh?
[03/01/2012 18:53:20] Fay: I get ANOTHER email,from booking.com again only this time from their Berlin offices. I had applied for a customer service manager position there,and they want to interview me!
[03/01/2012 18:53:21] Fay: ROFL!
[03/01/2012 18:53:44] Rhanite: Ha!
[03/01/2012 18:54:14] Fay: Hmm...Berlin or Amsterdam.
[03/01/2012 18:54:17] Fay: Berlin.
[03/01/2012 18:54:19] Fay: All the way.
[03/01/2012 18:54:43] Rhanite: First we take Manhatten?
[03/01/2012 18:54:44] Fay: Haven't been there since 2000,when I was living in Germany. Loved it.
[03/01/2012 18:54:48] Fay: teehe
[03/01/2012 18:55:30] Rhanite: I can see how that would be
[03/01/2012 18:55:46] Fay: Oh can you now
[03/01/2012 18:56:31] Rhanite: Hurr
[03/01/2012 19:01:55] Fay: Right.
[03/01/2012 19:02:48] Fay: Desired headphones to buy have been found,emails have been sent...mental sparring can resume.
[03/01/2012 19:04:15] Rhanite: Huzzah!
[03/01/2012 19:04:47] Fay: Did I manage to get my point across earlier?
[03/01/2012 19:07:41] Rhanite: You did, yes
[03/01/2012 19:09:26] Rhanite: Quite so, yes
[03/01/2012 19:13:43] Fay: Good. So,after all that long but necessary introduction,it comes down to a couple of things the way I see it : you wanna keep the story "light", not delving too much into things,more....skin deep let's say? Wanna change it to something different? Dunno how you've agreed with Rebecca to handle the story part,in terms of whether you have liberties on it or if she does all the writing and you do the char profiles or something,but if you do have control over your char,things like "will she keep on being a herm/how did that affect her/do I really wanna go there" should be addressed.
[03/01/2012 19:20:15] Rhanite: Right. I'm open to where the story goes. Point in case, I'll send you a .doc of a previous chapter I've been messing around with to characterize Mira alittle. Probably going to aim for the same tone.
So Happy to go more than skin deep. Have to, to meet this challenge.  And Rebecca manages her own characters and includes mine and others when relevant, as I do. So far she has only worked with Mira though, since Sel is largely unwritten.  For the final collection of options - all of the above. Whatever it takes to do the best possible with the material
[03/01/2012 19:21:18] Rhanite: As I said, the overall idea with this project is to see if it is possible to take a juvenile and shallow character design, and turn it into a legitimate, deep(-er) and genuinely interesting character
[03/01/2012 19:24:25] Fay: Yeah,that would be something to see alright. Personally I'd go for a new character,or new characters,based on Mira and Sel. But well,that's me. In any case,you really,REALLY need to make your mind up on whether either/both of them was born a herm,and most importantly,if that's okay in the society they live in. Like it or not, sexual identity plays a major, MAJOR part in our emotional development. Or the lack of it.
[03/01/2012 19:24:55] Fay: If you want a preliminary "sketch" of what I got in mind for Sel,can do. Crude,mind.
[03/01/2012 19:26:14] Rhanite: Ah yes, new character would be alot easier, but that's not the challenge of it.  Mira is and always has been female, bordering on a slightly asexual/androgynous personality
[03/01/2012 19:26:33] Rhanite: Sel the opposite, personalitywise. A walking libido.
[03/01/2012 19:27:31] Fay: Really?! Mira a female??
[03/01/2012 19:27:33] Fay: Well.
[03/01/2012 19:27:51] Fay: Never striked me as having too many female qualities/characteristics. Hmm. Oh well.
[03/01/2012 19:28:07] Fay: And...I don't think creating new chars would be that easy :P
[03/01/2012 19:28:08] Rhanite: As I said, more androgynous and desexualized
[03/01/2012 19:28:20] Rhanite: Oh, new characters is what I make for breakfast
[03/01/2012 19:28:32] Fay: Oh really.
[03/01/2012 19:28:37] Fay: Deep ones as well?
[03/01/2012 19:28:40] Fay: Or,wait.
[03/01/2012 19:29:14] Fay: How about...characters that go BEYOND the over used "family had sthg wrong with it-kid got it-look at the adult it is now"?
[03/01/2012 19:29:23] Fay: Not even Dexter managed to get out of that one!
[03/01/2012 19:30:01] Rhanite: Story writes itself as you explore the character and encounter scenarios that force you to answer the questions
[03/01/2012 19:30:13] Rhanite: Brainstorming like this speeds the process
[03/01/2012 19:30:28] Rhanite: by propting said questions and considerations
[03/01/2012 19:31:33] Rhanite: *prompting
[03/01/2012 19:33:04] Fay: Agreed. All I'm saying is you gotta have -some-things figured out already though. And that personally,even though it works,I'm a little tired with the typical way modern story tellers choose to add depth to their characters. I'll use Dexter again (and you know I adore the series,so don't bite!). Brilliant character development,BRILLIANT! :P but...the background? 3 yr old-huge trauma-fucked up adult who tries to figure it all out.
[03/01/2012 19:33:14] Fay: It's...how can I say it.
[03/01/2012 19:34:31] Rhanite: Not exactly new terriroty
[03/01/2012 19:34:34] Rhanite: *territory
[03/01/2012 19:34:36] Fay: It works,ofc it does,and they've set it up exceptionally well. But I'd be curious to see someone with the guts to try and portray something more...subtle. Take a family that seems okay,every day,ordinary,nurturing enough. No big issues,no traumas.On the surface.
[03/01/2012 19:34:48] Fay: Yes! What you said!
[03/01/2012 19:35:19] Fay: And in that family,you may be have a pretty normal character. Every day,next door type of guy/gal.
[03/01/2012 19:35:25] Fay: And then...you start paying attention.
[03/01/2012 19:35:29] Fay: To the little things.
[03/01/2012 19:35:38] Rhanite: You're touching on the whole Tabula Rasa thing. Are people the products of their surroundings - without any prior disposition
[03/01/2012 19:36:08] Rhanite: or are there things from the beginning. Can something... wrong. Broken. From the beginning. ANd what does that mean? Is it unfixable?
[03/01/2012 19:36:10] Fay: THe mother...may be,manipulative? Controlling? Cause she's scared? Of what? Nothing,only...her husband. Lovely chap,mellow,funny,but....weak.
[03/01/2012 19:36:15] Fay: She never felt safe with him.
[03/01/2012 19:37:12] Fay: So,she had to....do everything herself. The stuff that matters. Feed their kids' soul. And in her effort to do so,she had to control. How else could she? It's all for their own good after all! If it wasn't for her,who knows what would happen!
[03/01/2012 19:37:41] Fay: It's both. THe old nurture vs nature debate
[03/01/2012 19:37:58] Fay: Well,you can't distinguish,human beings are the products of BOTH of those.
[03/01/2012 19:39:04] Fay: Anyway,I'm not a story teller,I lack the skill or the creativity to pull something like that through. I'm only saying what I'd like to see,may be,some day :)
[03/01/2012 19:39:09] Fay: heh
[03/01/2012 19:40:38] Fay: Characters so real that would leave you gaping,may be even help you figure out some stuff about yourself.
[03/01/2012 19:40:52] Fay: And all through the "harmless" medium of telling a story.
[03/01/2012 19:41:20] Rhanite: That would be fun to do sometime ^^
[03/01/2012 19:41:27] Fay: (that's what you get for asking a psychologist for input )
[03/01/2012 19:41:52] Rhanite: (thats why I asked for psychologist input)
[03/01/2012 19:42:08] Fay: (chuckle)
[03/01/2012 19:42:32] Fay: Nah ok,this isn't just psychology stuff,this is Fay too. Big time,heh.
[03/01/2012 19:43:11] Rhanite: So, lets have a look at what we have to work with then off the plate - and what questions have to be answered before the storytelling can begin
[03/01/2012 19:43:14] Rhanite: Hehe
[03/01/2012 19:43:25] Rhanite: - and yes, that too
[03/01/2012 19:43:52] Rhanite: Obviously. It's more then proffesional curiosity for you
[03/01/2012 19:44:23] Fay: Mhm,in more ways than one.
[03/01/2012 19:44:26] Fay: But anyway.
[03/01/2012 19:44:38] Fay: Yeah,tools.
[03/01/2012 19:44:51] Fay: We got Elan,THE tool.
[03/01/2012 19:44:58] Rhanite: Haw
[03/01/2012 19:45:00] Fay: (in the offensive way ;p )
[03/01/2012 19:45:35] Fay: Whose alter ego is Mira
[03/01/2012 19:45:38] Rhanite: I'll try to contain my mirth. The struggle will be legendary
[03/01/2012 19:45:39] Fay: who s a ..cat?
[03/01/2012 19:45:55] Fay: and then..a husky born turned horse herm
[03/01/2012 19:46:00] Fay: ok ok
[03/01/2012 19:46:05] Fay: *reset*
[03/01/2012 19:46:12] Fay: Serious mode,on.
[03/01/2012 19:46:16] Rhanite: Heh
[03/01/2012 19:50:00] Rhanite: Relevant at the moment, to the character Sel, is a target personality outline: Tough, passionate anarchist. The duality of her gender - affording the impulses, strengths and weaknesses of both, an rough outline of her past, a connection to the character Mira and the knowledge that - before "present" time - she's undergone the change from a canine (agile carnivore) to equine (resilient herbivore)
[03/01/2012 19:50:18] Rhanite: The latter change being purely physical
[03/01/2012 19:52:13] Fay: Err..Elan,if she thinks and feels as both sexes,she'll be insane. For sure.
[03/01/2012 19:53:23] Fay: She'll have male drive going "Ugh! Mate! Now!" and female psyche going "No! If someone wants me,s/he's gonna have to win me over! Hunt me down! Make me want to!"
[03/01/2012 19:53:45] Fay: She'll lose it,seriously :P
[03/01/2012 19:53:57] Fay: AHAAAAAAAAAH!
[03/01/2012 19:54:03] Fay: May THAT would be the thing tho!@
[03/01/2012 19:54:10] Fay: HMMMMMM!
[03/01/2012 19:54:22] Rhanite: Rhanite grins
[03/01/2012 19:54:30] Fay: A creature...in which....BOTH genders have an equal presence,BOTH physically and mentally??????????
[03/01/2012 19:54:32] Fay: HOLY FUCK!
[03/01/2012 19:54:38] Rhanite: Good times
[03/01/2012 19:55:05] Rhanite: This is why it feels like a chaotic and impulsive personality makes sense
[03/01/2012 19:55:17] Rhanite: Not necessarily insane just... uninhibited
[03/01/2012 19:56:33] Rhanite: Its alot of stimulus - and alot of conflicting hormones. One could surmise that a way to deal with that is to act out, to find an outlet for that confusion to maintain at least a loose handle on the reins
[03/01/2012 19:57:49] Rhanite: I imagine puberty must've sucked¨'
[03/01/2012 19:59:08] Rhanite: Brain soaked in a horriffic cocktail of hormones, lots of strange changes and alien impulses
[03/01/2012 19:59:12] Rhanite: Poor thing
[03/01/2012 19:59:42] Fay: You're forgetting the amazing powers of suppression.
[03/01/2012 20:00:12] Rhanite: Not necessarily - was getting to those hehe
[03/01/2012 20:00:14] Fay: If Sel grew up in the evironment you described,she grew up being forced not to pay attention to her own needs/urges/desires/wants.
[03/01/2012 20:00:22] Rhanite: Uh huh
[03/01/2012 20:00:25] Fay: Libido? What's that?
[03/01/2012 20:00:31] Fay: Suppressed.
[03/01/2012 20:00:38] Fay: Dreams? Huh?
[03/01/2012 20:00:43] Fay: SHe had to mind her sister.
[03/01/2012 20:00:56] Fay: Of course she's an anarchist.
[03/01/2012 20:01:06] Fay: Of course she'll go on a rampage at some point.
[03/01/2012 20:01:17] Fay: Of course she'll desire above everything else to feel free.
[03/01/2012 20:01:37] Rhanite: Glad you're seeing it my way :P
[03/01/2012 20:02:03] Fay: I usually do.
[03/01/2012 20:02:06] Fay: ANd pretend not to.
[03/01/2012 20:02:08] Fay: Just cause.
[03/01/2012 20:02:11] Fay: :>
[03/01/2012 20:02:12] Rhanite: This is not untrue
[03/01/2012 20:03:33] Fay: Oh,and of course she'll be competitive,talented,an antagonist even to the people she craves.
[03/01/2012 20:03:43] Fay: Affection? whazat
[03/01/2012 20:04:17] Rhanite: Oh, but she'll feel passionately. Madly so. It's fleeting though
[03/01/2012 20:04:43] Fay: Mhm,flare ups.
[03/01/2012 20:05:05] Rhanite: Its not lacking, she can empathize. Understand an awful lot. Just doesn't have alot of space in her noodle to process and keep onto these things to these things for long
[03/01/2012 20:05:14] Rhanite: High turnover rate
[03/01/2012 20:06:06] Rhanite: Something new - a new cause to follow, a new fight. You spilled my beer? Get your hand off my ass. Fit of fury, bruised knickles and she's thrown out fo the bar for picking a fight and dragging several innocents into it in her aggression
[03/01/2012 20:07:05] Rhanite: feels very hurt at the loss, the embarrassment stings keenly - she knows she acted rashly but she couldn't stop it. Shoulda known better. Did know better. did it anyway. Will do so again.
[03/01/2012 20:08:27] Rhanite: Can emphathize with the others - it was an accident and well... she'd kinda touch her ass too. Still, violated. Conflicted. But - have to move on now - there's a car. Flag it down, use wiles if she has to - works every time. New smells, new place, adventure ahead. No time to be sad.
[03/01/2012 20:09:37] Fay: Shallow.
[03/01/2012 20:09:42] Fay: She's breezing through life.
[03/01/2012 20:09:59] Fay: No reflection.
[03/01/2012 20:10:06] Rhanite: Yup. Need something to stick. Something force reflection
[03/01/2012 20:10:30] Rhanite: Gotta build the contrast though. Make the permanence that much more precious
[03/01/2012 20:10:50] Rhanite: hurts more when you take it away - leaves a deeper scar
[03/01/2012 20:10:59] Rhanite: Juxtaposition
[03/01/2012 20:12:13] Fay: Mhm hm. And then something happens,life deals her a blow that she just cannot ignore like she does with everything else?
[03/01/2012 20:12:38] Rhanite: The one permanent thing she cares about? Mind your sister.
[03/01/2012 20:12:59] Fay: heh,was thinking of her sister as well,huhu
[03/01/2012 20:13:07] Fay: Azure was it?
[03/01/2012 20:13:16] Rhanite: Yep yep
[03/01/2012 20:13:24] Fay: But.
[03/01/2012 20:13:38] Fay: Life doesn't just hit you in the head with a sledgehammer one day.
[03/01/2012 20:13:44] Fay: There are signs.
[03/01/2012 20:13:51] Fay: Of variou sizes.
[03/01/2012 20:13:56] Rhanite: Oh no, I'm thinking Sis is very much alive
[03/01/2012 20:13:58] Fay: Tiny,smaller,small.
[03/01/2012 20:14:07] Fay: The more you ignore them,the more prominent they become.
[03/01/2012 20:14:18] Rhanite: I'm pretty sure I've got it infact
[03/01/2012 20:15:21] Rhanite: Sibling rivalry is a fickle thing. Sis rescues Azure. Real fuckin' hero. Idol. But they grow up. Both of them do. Azure more controlled than Sel - the small things pile up
[03/01/2012 20:16:03] Rhanite: Sis is so impulsive, no inhibitions, doesn't think. Does she really understand? I wish she'd stop doing that.
[03/01/2012 20:17:11] Fay: Ahm....thing is. The ones responsible for sibling rivalry,are primarily the parents.
[03/01/2012 20:18:04] Fay: But it could work with what you said : saves,hero,all eyes on her
[03/01/2012 20:18:13] Fay: whoosh goes the attention
[03/01/2012 20:18:18] Rhanite: They won't always travel alone. Strength in numbers. There is going to be conflict eventually
[03/01/2012 20:18:21] Fay: ina kid's eyes attention=loves
[03/01/2012 20:18:26] Rhanite: Yep
[03/01/2012 20:18:27] Fay: (kids are so stupid sopmetimes :P )
[03/01/2012 20:18:43] Rhanite: Particularly since they're of a nearly identical age. Twins
[03/01/2012 20:18:51] Rhanite: So why does Sel get the attention
[03/01/2012 20:19:03] Rhanite: Thats not fair
[03/01/2012 20:20:54] Rhanite: It plays nicely into the (very rough) idea that Azure is the more cunning and controlled of the two. She's almost normal (as normal goes). Sel is an anarchist and a thug, Azure is a thief. Uses what she has to manipulate and make her way by
[03/01/2012 20:21:39] Rhanite: It's gotta cut deep when Azure, the one permanent thing in Sel's life rejects and leaves her
[03/01/2012 20:22:34] Rhanite: Starts with snide comments, jabs, alittle rivalry. Escalates to contest, agruments. Slamming doors and one or the other leaving for hours, maybe even days - but they always reunite eventually
[03/01/2012 20:24:39] Rhanite: Until one day, one day it's too keen, too harsh. Some things are said that shouldn't have been. Can't be taken back, both blinded by emotion and anger. It even gets physical. Punches and kicks, bloodied. Azure leaves, vowing she's done and through. Sel threatens: you walk out that door, you don't ever come back. She picks up the broken glass, drink to relieve the pain. She'll come back.
[03/01/2012 20:25:28] Rhanite: Hours pass, Sel passes out drunk. Next day with a hangover, still angry - it was bad and I'll kick her tail for what she said when she gets back.
[03/01/2012 20:25:51] Rhanite: Couple of days pass, she should be back soon - even if it was bad
[03/01/2012 20:26:10] Rhanite: More than a week gone, where is she?
[03/01/2012 20:28:21] Rhanite: Two weeks, can't stay here any longer. the bruises are long gone, but the wound hurts more than ever - its deep and its there, and its not going away. I pushed her away and now she's gone. I didn't mind my sister and I can't look out for her now.
[03/01/2012 20:28:44] Fay: The void.
[03/01/2012 20:28:51] Fay: That....hollow place in her chest.
[03/01/2012 20:29:00] Fay: If she doesn't have to mind her sister any more...what then?
[03/01/2012 20:29:08] Fay: She's left with....oh God...
[03/01/2012 20:29:11] Fay: Herself.
[03/01/2012 20:29:14] Fay: And herself alone.
[03/01/2012 20:29:35] Fay: One wild,passionate,hurt Sel in her hand to make something out of,deal with,love.
[03/01/2012 20:29:48] Fay: (enter abyssal depth)
[03/01/2012 20:30:21] Fay: When she stops having someone else to mind,to always take care of....guess who rises up.
[03/01/2012 20:30:24] Fay: Herself.
[03/01/2012 20:30:32] Fay: In dire need of...everything.
[03/01/2012 20:30:36] Rhanite: Exactly
[03/01/2012 20:30:40] Rhanite: An nothing to hold it back
[03/01/2012 20:30:40] Fay: Insatiable.
[03/01/2012 20:30:59] Rhanite: Nothing to mind. No anchor. Nothing to hold on to
[03/01/2012 20:31:40] Fay: Enter fear.
[03/01/2012 20:31:53] Rhanite: Delicious fear
[03/01/2012 20:31:56] Rhanite: And abandon
[03/01/2012 20:32:04] Rhanite: Well, nothing matters, does it?
[03/01/2012 20:32:11] Rhanite: Nothing is real anymore
[03/01/2012 20:32:13] Fay: No point in anything.
[03/01/2012 20:32:19] Fay: No meaning.
[03/01/2012 20:32:28] Rhanite: She finally has what she wanted
[03/01/2012 20:32:29] Fay: She's got nothing and no one to live for.
[03/01/2012 20:32:30] Rhanite: She's free
[03/01/2012 20:32:35] Fay: And alone.
[03/01/2012 20:32:47] Fay: High price,her freedom.
[03/01/2012 20:33:01] Rhanite: Isn't it just?
[03/01/2012 20:33:22] Rhanite: So she indulges. Loses herself in it. What else is there to do?
[03/01/2012 20:33:53] Fay: Get a slice of life..
[03/01/2012 20:34:21] Rhanite: But you can't have your cake and eat it too
[03/01/2012 20:34:31] Rhanite: Eventually some dues have to be paid
[03/01/2012 20:34:37] Fay: And she's not a teenager any more is she.
[03/01/2012 20:35:01] Rhanite: Oh no, grown up now - young adult
[03/01/2012 20:35:36] Fay: Will hurt more if you make her older.
[03/01/2012 20:36:13] Rhanite: Ran away with Azure when they were sixteen, lived on the road until twenty-twenty one. Now she's twenty eight
[03/01/2012 20:37:09] Rhanite: Well, present time. Where we're at maybe twentyfour/twenty five
[03/01/2012 20:37:15] Rhanite: -ish
[03/01/2012 20:37:16] Fay: And she takes a look in the mirror,and she sees...a creature that's torn,split in two,even in body. And her sister,her TWIN,is gone. Tragic.
[03/01/2012 20:37:44] Rhanite: And its there every time she looks. Every time she sees that reflection, she can see what is missing
[03/01/2012 20:38:10] Fay: Bloody hell,some people like their prisons alright.
[03/01/2012 20:38:19] Rhanite: Right?
[03/01/2012 20:40:11] Rhanite: And so one day - along comes this black cat dressed in white. She's so calm and quiet - reminds Sel of someone she hasn't thought of in many many years. Someone who taught her something. This other woman is detached - so in control. And strong, not physically - but it emanates from that lithe form
[03/01/2012 20:41:58] Rhanite: There's something terribly wrong about it. Noone can be right, and be that cold, that controlled. But its intoxicating and soothing all at once. Its almost something tangible to hold on to - and this cat with the horrible, empty eyes says the one thing Sel needs to hear. "I can find your sister."
[03/01/2012 20:43:37] Rhanite: "Come with me. Do as I ask, and I will see that you find her again." It is a deal with the devil, Sel knows this beyond a shadow of a doubt. But it can't be worse that this life. She's allready damned herself, she's allready in hell. And now a hand is offering to take her somewhere else. Anything is better than this.
[03/01/2012 20:44:30] Fay: A point of reference.
[03/01/2012 20:45:50] Rhanite: Yeees
[03/01/2012 20:46:56] Rhanite: Hm, gotta go get food started buuuut - got skype on my phone. Can move this to Voice and I can just take it with me - keep the talk going
[03/01/2012 21:57:10] Rhanite: Or not :P
[04/01/2012 00:40:33] Fay: I'm sorry for disappearing on you like that Elan.
[04/01/2012 00:40:48] Fay: Had to run,as in,instantly.
[04/01/2012 01:41:45] Rhanite: no sweat. Perhaps there'll be time to review this tomorrow if you want. Anyhow, 'night!
[04/01/2012 01:42:11] Fay: Night!
[04/01/2012 11:25:09] Rhanite: 'murnin!
[04/01/2012 11:27:17] Fay: *reaches out and pulls the roasted chickpeas out of your mouth*
[04/01/2012 11:27:34] Fay: Hmm,that works better in Greek damn it.
[04/01/2012 11:30:21] Rhanite: I-uh... huh?
[04/01/2012 11:30:31] Rhanite: I think it does, yes...
[04/01/2012 11:30:36] Rhanite: Rhanite snickers
[04/01/2012 11:30:49] Fay: (chuckle)
[04/01/2012 11:31:53] Fay: "murnin"- in Greek when someone "cuts" words we say he talks like he has roasted chickpeas in his mouth (they get really hard when you roast them!)
[04/01/2012 11:32:34] Rhanite: Ahhhhh
[04/01/2012 11:32:58] Fay: Silly fact : I tend to poke my friends' cheeks in with a finger when they eat roasted chick peas.
[04/01/2012 11:33:04] Fay: The effect is...messy,but funny :P
[04/01/2012 11:33:25] Fay: But,yes! Morning!
[04/01/2012 11:36:12] Rhanite: Day shaping up well then?
[04/01/2012 11:36:47] Fay: mhm :)
[04/01/2012 11:36:50] Fay: Yours?
[04/01/2012 11:38:34] Rhanite: Well, working from home (Good thing!), Gus is a lazy bastard and skipped work so he's home as well (less favorable. It's nice with just SOME time to just be yerself without LOS to someone else) and more or less done with what I had to work on today (got up early) so... overall a positive outcome
[04/01/2012 11:41:18] Rhanite: So lots of time for mental sparring if you have time today
[04/01/2012 11:45:47] Rhanite: The work on Sel was so successful, I'd be interested in enlisting you to help take a closer look at Mira too
[04/01/2012 11:47:54] Fay: Mhm,sounds like a plan. Don't really have anything important to do today either-go to the pool later on,do some house chores,that's about it
[04/01/2012 11:48:24] Fay: Gimme a few now though,just got out of the shower and am still in my-what's it called,bathing robe thingy,and it's getting cold
[04/01/2012 11:48:25] Fay: brb
[04/01/2012 11:48:26] Rhanite: Well awesome then!
[04/01/2012 11:48:29] Rhanite: kk
[04/01/2012 12:58:21] Fay: You know.
[04/01/2012 12:58:30] Fay: I just re read what we wrote yesterday
[04/01/2012 12:58:36] Fay: and man it's good!
[04/01/2012 12:58:41] Fay: *high fives*
[04/01/2012 12:58:49] Rhanite: hi-five!
[04/01/2012 12:59:26] Rhanite: Yes I was thinking the same... it may not be fine litterature - but its the start and the potential for meeting the challenge of Making Sel a real character
[04/01/2012 12:59:51] Fay: It's the backbone,I'd say.
[04/01/2012 13:00:02] Fay: The literary part comes later. That's where you come in.
[04/01/2012 13:00:09] Rhanite:  *nodnod*
[04/01/2012 13:00:10] Rhanite: Indeedy
[04/01/2012 13:00:28] Rhanite: With this though, she does become sympathetic and there is infact a motivation
[04/01/2012 13:00:43] Rhanite: A personality that both supports and contradicts her appearence
[04/01/2012 13:01:20] Fay: Oh yeah.
[04/01/2012 13:01:28] Fay: Btw,gief .doc of Mira
[04/01/2012 13:01:40] Rhanite: Ah yes - right
[04/01/2012 13:01:46] Fay: So I can start getting -more-of a feel for her
[04/01/2012 13:02:26] *** Rhanite sent Precipitation.pdf ***
[04/01/2012 13:02:49] Rhanite: I -think- thats the one. Isn't the best thing I've written, but its still a WIP
[04/01/2012 13:05:48] Fay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=1V3t-cJ50Og
[04/01/2012 13:05:59] Fay: deliciously dark
[04/01/2012 13:06:05] Fay: *starts reading*
[04/01/2012 13:06:05] Rhanite: oooh
[04/01/2012 13:06:31] Rhanite: oh yes - background music I listened to while writing some of it
[04/01/2012 13:06:45] Rhanite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I9vxzVjEZg
[04/01/2012 13:09:17] Fay: brb Elan,phone-need to take this
[04/01/2012 13:09:56] Rhanite: kk
[04/01/2012 13:40:17] Fay: *is back and reading*
[04/01/2012 13:41:52] Fay: can i proof edit as well? If I spot silly spelling mistakes and such?
[04/01/2012 13:43:26] Rhanite: Oh, by all means
[04/01/2012 13:43:53] Rhanite: Read and write it enough and ya stra become blind to even obvious typos and errors
[04/01/2012 13:44:10] Fay: *chuckles* Happens to the best of us!
[04/01/2012 13:44:14] Rhanite: Indeed!
[04/01/2012 13:44:37] Rhanite: A'ight, gonna have a quick game os SWTOR with Stu, then I'm back
[04/01/2012 13:44:59] Fay: servers are down,no?
[04/01/2012 13:45:42] Rhanite: Nope, came back up now
[04/01/2012 13:45:58] Fay: k,i ll be posting edits here,as I can't change content in a .pdf
[04/01/2012 13:46:21] Fay: "They hate each other, they’re afraid of what other are capable of" : of what otherS
[04/01/2012 13:52:38] Fay: "The white-clad woman broke from her thoughts and sidled neatly"- you mean slided? Or is it some word I don't know?
[04/01/2012 13:57:22] Fay: "Mirage’s curiosity was piqued however, when a series of correlated news reports detailed a string of deaths in Ozmia City had coincided with a dramatic increase in criminal activity within the last couple of years." Shouldn't it be "detailing" ? Or it doesn't make sense,
[04/01/2012 13:57:25] Fay: .*
[04/01/2012 14:10:04] Rhanite: (will gather all the corrections up and fix 'em when done - if thats ok)
[04/01/2012 14:10:34] Fay: sure sure,again,just put them here cause I got no other means to
[04/01/2012 14:10:36] Fay: and,done
[04/01/2012 14:10:47] Fay: so just poke me when u feel like discussing it
[04/01/2012 14:12:55] Fay: "Traces of energy released by the transport arced through the air,". Arced? You mean arched?
[04/01/2012 14:19:21] Rhanite: Will do!
[04/01/2012 14:38:55] Rhanite: Naw, electricity arcs - when it leaps and crackles around
[04/01/2012 14:39:45] Fay: ah k
[04/01/2012 15:47:52] Rhanite: Aaand back and free to get back on it when you are. Hoth is annoying
[04/01/2012 16:01:36] Fay: lemme finish this HC
[04/01/2012 16:06:23] Rhanite: Hm, net cut out it seems. Only got access on phone
[04/01/2012 16:16:05] Fay: Hmm
[04/01/2012 16:16:09] Fay: wanna do it later then?
[04/01/2012 16:17:02] Rhanite: Well, typing sucks, but I can call and voice just fine.from this phone
[04/01/2012 16:18:16] Rhanite: Skypecall that is, so no distance charges or anything
[04/01/2012 16:21:00] Fay: go for it
[04/01/2012 16:28:13] *** Call from Rhanite, duration 43:27. ***
[04/01/2012 17:16:24] Fay: I don't get one more thing,that I forgot to mention
[04/01/2012 17:16:38] Fay: Why on earth would Mira get interested in Sel?
[04/01/2012 17:17:11] Fay: Why go to her,in essence offer to find her sister,so she could get her under her influence?
[04/01/2012 17:19:16] Fay: I mean,the way you portray her in the story..I don't see why a creature like Mira would get anything but superficially intrigued by someone like Sel.
[05/01/2012 14:02:36] Rhanite: Ah, hey there -  sorry for disappearing yesterday - damn net
[05/01/2012 14:04:08] Fay: Heya
[05/01/2012 14:04:24] Fay: tis okay,I was knackered coming back from the gym anyway
[05/01/2012 14:04:41] Fay: 20+ days away from the pool,and my stamina went down the drain damn it
[05/01/2012 14:04:47] Fay: here goes to building it up again
[05/01/2012 14:04:53] Rhanite: That's the spirit!
[05/01/2012 14:05:12] Fay: Elan,I was sleeping for 16 hours :P
[05/01/2012 14:05:31] Rhanite: Yes, but you're building it up again
[05/01/2012 14:05:47] Rhanite: Gotta stay focused on the positive things
[05/01/2012 14:05:54] Fay: Yeap. And I saved myself the cramps this time,haw
[05/01/2012 14:06:02] Rhanite: See? Excellent!
[05/01/2012 14:06:10] Fay: First sign of straining muscle-the jacuzzi I hit
[05/01/2012 14:06:29] Rhanite: You shouldn't hit the jacuzzi, you should relax in it
[05/01/2012 14:06:31] Fay: AND! First time ever I entered the steam bath room and I wasn't coughing
[05/01/2012 14:06:40] Fay: my system adjusts fast now hah
[05/01/2012 14:06:47] Rhanite: Awright, rockin' the pool area!
[05/01/2012 14:06:53] Rhanite: Go team Fay!
[05/01/2012 14:07:42] Fay: They have this ahm,well,it's like a natural waterfall in the jacuzzi
[05/01/2012 14:07:49] Rhanite: oooh
[05/01/2012 14:07:55] Rhanite: how decadent
[05/01/2012 14:07:59] Fay: You push a button and tada! HIgh pressure water falls on you
[05/01/2012 14:08:09] Fay: It's sublime
[05/01/2012 14:08:10] Rhanite: That sounds nice...
[05/01/2012 14:08:13] Fay: It's....beyond words!
[05/01/2012 14:08:24] Rhanite: Heeh
[05/01/2012 14:09:02] Fay: How's work?
[05/01/2012 14:10:06] Rhanite: Oh, business as usual. Mind's half on the picture I finished yesterday and now want to make a few fixes on
[05/01/2012 14:10:30] Fay: Mhmm I saw it
[05/01/2012 14:10:31] Rhanite: and, naturally, churning on the character development thats been started. Damn, when it starts it becomes a borderline obsession to work on
[05/01/2012 14:11:03] Rhanite: Mm, that ruined floor - I know how I want to fix it - not satisfied with the way it looks now, but I know what to do... just can't do it from here
[05/01/2012 14:11:32] Fay: Yeah it looks like something has been spilled on it
[05/01/2012 14:11:41] Fay: the rest is fine though
[05/01/2012 14:11:47] Fay: Though I gotta admit.
[05/01/2012 14:11:57] Fay: I can't fucking wait till Sel hits back.
[05/01/2012 14:12:00] Rhanite: Oh?
[05/01/2012 14:12:03] Fay: Mira,won't know what hit her.
[05/01/2012 14:12:14] Fay: Well yeah. Sel WILL strike back,eventually.
[05/01/2012 14:12:15] Rhanite: Heeh
[05/01/2012 14:12:18] Fay: And then,pack up and go.
[05/01/2012 14:12:26] Fay: Mira is too....small,too little for her.
[05/01/2012 14:12:34] Fay: She'll never be able to hold on to for long.
[05/01/2012 14:12:40] Fay: But,that's to come later.
[05/01/2012 14:12:46] Rhanite: Oh no, Sel has size, stamina and muscle over her. Mira isn't a fighter
[05/01/2012 14:13:29] Rhanite: One or two solid blows from Sel would probably knock the kitty out
[05/01/2012 14:13:35] Fay: Mira also has a very small,shriveled heart. I feel pitty for her,was thinking about her even when I was swimming!
[05/01/2012 14:14:08] Fay: I need time for her to develop in my mind,get her feel,know what I mean? But getting there
[05/01/2012 14:14:19] Rhanite: Oh yeah, was gonna get to that actually - would love to get further under her skin as well
[05/01/2012 14:14:44] Rhanite: To answet the question you posed above though-
[05/01/2012 14:16:10] Rhanite: on the outset, there's a fickle glimmer in Mira's manipulation of Sel. Sel's father was the psychiatrist who treated her at St. Anthony's - so it's a blow against him to usurp his daughter
[05/01/2012 14:16:33] Fay: Mhm hm. But Mira's still pathetic,if you think about it.
[05/01/2012 14:16:45] Rhanite: How so?
[05/01/2012 14:17:27] Fay: She has this brilliant, BRILLIANT,FANTASTIC,OUTWORDLY mind,with unparalleled perception,and what does she do with it?
[05/01/2012 14:17:35] Fay: She schemes,tries to manipulate,control.
[05/01/2012 14:17:40] Fay: And make money ok :P
[05/01/2012 14:17:46] Fay: Yes yes
[05/01/2012 14:17:49] Fay: I know what you ll say
[05/01/2012 14:18:02] Fay: background/past/she's a sociopath what do you expect
[05/01/2012 14:18:05] Rhanite: I was just going to say - creates a massive tech R&D company
[05/01/2012 14:18:15] Rhanite: Becomes stinking rich ADN untouchable
[05/01/2012 14:18:31] Fay: Pathetic.
[05/01/2012 14:18:44] Fay: Her heart is gnarled,twisted,thorny.
[05/01/2012 14:18:51] Rhanite: Oh yes
[05/01/2012 14:19:00] Rhanite: There's something very broken inside
[05/01/2012 14:19:01] Fay: She lives in her mind,that has grown as cold and calculating as her heart.
[05/01/2012 14:19:10] Fay: SHe's water,ice,where as Sel is fire.
[05/01/2012 14:19:21] Fay: And.
[05/01/2012 14:19:35] Fay: She has a seriously,seriously low self esteem to be treating ppl like that.
[05/01/2012 14:19:45] Rhanite: Megalomania
[05/01/2012 14:19:51] Fay: "I got nothing else to win ppl over,so I ll just manipulate,control"
[05/01/2012 14:20:53] Fay: Megalomania is only the...oh what s the expression damn it
[05/01/2012 14:20:59] Fay: Different side to the same coin?
[05/01/2012 14:21:02] Rhanite: I agree
[05/01/2012 14:21:27] Rhanite: I've been dying to hit this topic. You see, I don't mind there being that side/that facet of her character
[05/01/2012 14:21:31] Rhanite: But
[05/01/2012 14:21:35] Fay: Underneath,is huge insecurity and extremely low self esteem
[05/01/2012 14:21:35] Rhanite: I want Mira to be dangerous.
[05/01/2012 14:21:47] Fay: someone fucked up that girl when she was growing up,and fucked her up bad
[05/01/2012 14:22:33] Rhanite: More than that, I want her to be terrifying. Subtly so. That broken creature is a monster, a real one.
[05/01/2012 14:22:37] Fay: She -is-dangerous.
[05/01/2012 14:23:08] Rhanite: Not "demon - born to be evil" or "destined to be bad". They're not really scary
[05/01/2012 14:23:41] Rhanite: No, I want Mira to be a horrifying example of what ordinary people are capable of
[05/01/2012 14:23:52] Fay: Steerpike.
[05/01/2012 14:23:56] Rhanite: Yup
[05/01/2012 14:24:24] Rhanite: Haven't gotten to him really being evil yet - he's still stuck on the roof - climbing into Fuschia's attic
[05/01/2012 14:24:44] Rhanite: Want to see if I can combine that with something approximating Dexter's charisma
[05/01/2012 14:25:04] Fay: When you get to the scene where he dances,remember me.
[05/01/2012 14:25:06] Rhanite: Hehe
[05/01/2012 14:25:26] Rhanite: Think... almost likeable, while totally despicable - like Pinkamena from that blog comic
[05/01/2012 14:25:36] Fay: Yeh,laugh now,wait till you read it,and if it doesn't make your skin crawl...there's something wrong with you ;p
[05/01/2012 14:25:51] Rhanite: Delightful - I'll look forward to that
[05/01/2012 14:26:19] Fay: Mira got me angry :P
[05/01/2012 14:26:21] Rhanite: Oh?
[05/01/2012 14:26:29] Fay: *nods*
[05/01/2012 14:26:32] Rhanite: How so?
[05/01/2012 14:26:55] Fay: I feed on what these chars/stories evoke in me,think you know that by now.
[05/01/2012 14:27:11] Rhanite: but of course. So I'm curious where the anger comes from
[05/01/2012 14:28:13] Fay: Well. I asked you something yesterday,when the anger had started building up : why would someone like Mira ever get interested in someone like Sel?
[05/01/2012 14:28:39] Rhanite: I could think of several reasons actually. None of them are nice.
[05/01/2012 14:28:59] Fay: Didn't expect them to be. Give me them.
[05/01/2012 14:29:48] Rhanite: To spin a web with which to build an utterly loyal minion chained not by chemicals or technology, but by devotion
[05/01/2012 14:30:18] Rhanite: To make a friend - or - an approximation, by breaking someone so anthithetical to herself
[05/01/2012 14:30:35] Fay: Mhm hm. But : why Sel? Mira is calculating,she wouldn't just pick someone. And it couldn't be just that she was available,vulnerable at the time,an easy target.
[05/01/2012 14:30:43] Fay: Something infatuated Mira with Sel.
[05/01/2012 14:30:58] Rhanite: Crossed paths before
[05/01/2012 14:31:11] Rhanite: presents unique oppertunity
[05/01/2012 14:31:41] Rhanite: relationship to Sel's family as well
[05/01/2012 14:32:01] Rhanite: So chance to vent deeply suppressed urge for revenge
[05/01/2012 14:32:09] Fay: Hmm,the last one would be the one to hold I think.
[05/01/2012 14:32:22] Fay: Why is Mira so angry at that psychiatrist anyway?
[05/01/2012 14:32:32] Fay: and sec,brb
[05/01/2012 14:32:51] Rhanite: Good question! What we need to do is figure out more about Mira, really. Most of her backstory is pretty vague
[05/01/2012 14:32:51] Rhanite: kk
[05/01/2012 14:44:10] Fay: Precisely.
[05/01/2012 14:44:36] Fay: The way I see it,some of most powerful motivators for a behaviour like that would be revenge or envy
[05/01/2012 14:44:39] Fay: Or may be both
[05/01/2012 14:44:54] Fay: Revenge if the psych did something Mira perceived as "bad' to her
[05/01/2012 14:45:22] Fay: Envy...cause Sel has a life,whereas Mira is rotting away in her dungeon trying to cotnrol everybody
[05/01/2012 14:46:13] Fay: And she doesn't even see it.
[05/01/2012 14:46:18] Rhanite: Hm. My question is: can Mira be what she is without being quite that pathetic?
[05/01/2012 14:46:47] Fay: If somehow she grows up,yeah.
[05/01/2012 14:46:56] Rhanite: Well, random thought here
[05/01/2012 14:50:08] Rhanite: What if the relationship between Mira and Sel is based on need fulfilment. Sel gains a very stable anchor, as well as stark contrast to reflect herself in. Likewise, Mira gains the same contrast and reflection, an ally that isn't controlled by fear - or well... by anything so much as an actual bond. And additonally, someone to observe and learn from. She's a good actor - but having someone as fiery and passionate as Sel is a golden oppertunity to step up her own game and learn how to impersonate what she can't feel
[05/01/2012 14:50:31] Rhanite: Maybe if she observes and learns from Sel long enough, she might actually feel it
[05/01/2012 14:51:01] Fay: Hold on Elan,gotta restrain my mother.
[05/01/2012 14:51:02] Rhanite: This laying beneath whatever contrived excuses one or both parties might have to uphold their imahes
[05/01/2012 14:51:09] Rhanite: *snickers* thats a funny mental image
[05/01/2012 14:51:35] Fay: Yeah...good thing I've learned how to do it with words and tone of voice.
[05/01/2012 14:51:37] Fay: Brb.
[05/01/2012 14:52:47] Rhanite: hehe kay
[05/01/2012 15:03:04] Fay: God I really hope one of the jobs at hand works out,if I moved out of here yesterday wouldn't be soon enough
[05/01/2012 15:03:27] Fay: I swear,sometimes I look at my mother and understand I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell to grow into something different than the adult I am
[05/01/2012 15:03:28] Fay: crikey
[05/01/2012 15:03:41] Rhanite: Ï hear that...
[05/01/2012 15:03:44] Fay: AND WHEN WILL PARENTS STOP PUTTING THEIR KIDS IN THEIR RIVALRIES DAMN IT!
[05/01/2012 15:03:46] Fay: ffs
[05/01/2012 15:04:11] Fay: they re separateb,my brother lives in the other side of the globe,and we still manage to make a mess of everything
[05/01/2012 15:04:13] Fay: or they do
[05/01/2012 15:04:19] Fay: me and my bro get along fiiiiiiiiine
[05/01/2012 15:04:20] Fay: :P
[05/01/2012 15:04:24] Fay: anyway,sorry
[05/01/2012 15:04:24] Rhanite: Hehehe
[05/01/2012 15:05:36] Rhanite: Not at all
[05/01/2012 15:07:44] Fay: Hmm....good idea,actually,what you wrote about them
[05/01/2012 15:08:08] Fay: I think...the way that 's going though,sounds like those two might end up falling in love
[05/01/2012 15:08:22] Fay: which might be catastophic,but would defo make them grow up alright
[05/01/2012 15:08:24] Fay: big time
[05/01/2012 15:09:00] Rhanite: I don't really see that happening. As stories go, I have something of a very loose plot idea:
[05/01/2012 15:09:44] Rhanite: story picks up and runs alongside Obsidians story (rebeccase work) - but the MiraTech story follows Mira, Sel and one or two other characters. Gonna do some Martin-esque POV hopping
[05/01/2012 15:10:41] Rhanite: Then thinking to run a cosmos-chaos-cosmos structure with a novice - citizen - hero development for some of them
[05/01/2012 15:10:45] Rhanite: specifically
[05/01/2012 15:11:14] Fay: Your story,your call
[05/01/2012 15:11:27] Fay: In my eyes,it's bound to happen,but you call the shots!
[05/01/2012 15:11:35] Rhanite: First few bits, Mira is in control of Miratech, Sel is her minion, Mira ensnares Obsidian and brings her into the company.
[05/01/2012 15:12:14] Rhanite: This leads of course to Obsidian constructing her view of Miratech and Mira and all that - as well as building a rivalry/alliance relationship with Sel. Probably abit of both
[05/01/2012 15:12:21] Fay: Elan,someone like Sel,the way we're portraying her now at least,would never be a true minion
[05/01/2012 15:12:26] Rhanite: I know
[05/01/2012 15:12:28] Fay: She's a horse for crying out loud
[05/01/2012 15:12:33] Fay: size DOES matter
[05/01/2012 15:12:38] Rhanite: just the easiest word to use
[05/01/2012 15:12:44] Fay: creatures like that have...presence,personality
[05/01/2012 15:12:51] Rhanite: Ally then
[05/01/2012 15:12:53] Rhanite: Anyway
[05/01/2012 15:13:48] Rhanite: Culmination of this cosmos phase is Obsidian rebelling. And either as a part of this or related to it, Sel break with Mira as well. The cat is (fair enough, she deserves it) betrayed, abandoned and defeated
[05/01/2012 15:14:11] Rhanite: one of the ideas include Obsidian actually Killing Mira outright
[05/01/2012 15:14:18] Fay: :O
[05/01/2012 15:14:31] Fay: You're gonna stand by and watch your alter ego getting killed and humiliated?!
[05/01/2012 15:14:37] Rhanite: Oh yes
[05/01/2012 15:14:38] Fay: NOES!
[05/01/2012 15:15:00] Fay: Kill her off,srsly?
[05/01/2012 15:15:21] Rhanite: the crux being that the combo of Mira's advanced tech and paranoia has led her to develop a network of clones in stasis - and with very regular intervals she records her conciousness and stores it
[05/01/2012 15:15:25] Rhanite: contingency
[05/01/2012 15:15:42] Rhanite: Additionally it raises the question of whether the "real" mira died years ago.
[05/01/2012 15:15:52] Rhanite: not important though
[05/01/2012 15:16:20] Fay: That's the technical part where you excel,my playground is character progression and character relationships!
[05/01/2012 15:16:36] Fay: Add to that that I still consider the setting to be....eugh...well...yeha,you know
[05/01/2012 15:17:05] Fay: each to his playground,in other words :P
[05/01/2012 15:17:19] Rhanite: this leads to the chaos phase, Sel either autonomously orthrough helping someone else is led to disrupt this system to make sure the cat stays gone
[05/01/2012 15:17:21] Rhanite: Hehe
[05/01/2012 15:18:46] Fay: meh
[05/01/2012 15:18:51] Rhanite: For most intents it works - at least insofar as that msot of the system closes. One clone wakes up (or however it is wrapped up. Could also be other technical ways and options so the real one persists) - but the transder is damaged
[05/01/2012 15:18:54] Rhanite: *transfer
[05/01/2012 15:19:07] Fay: I don't want Mira to die!
[05/01/2012 15:19:20] Fay: *goes girly mode*
[05/01/2012 15:19:34] Fay: I want everyone to grow up and....get married and have lots of babies and live happily ever after!
[05/01/2012 15:20:07] Rhanite: Ah but here we are then - she does survive - but the system shock/data corrruption whatever during the whole "immortal with science" plan goes awry
[05/01/2012 15:20:38] Rhanite: Mira wakes up with fully functioning empathy - psychoses are gone
[05/01/2012 15:20:51] Rhanite: She gets to experience joy for the first time
[05/01/2012 15:21:00] Rhanite: All emotions brand new
[05/01/2012 15:21:35] Rhanite: Whereas Obsidian takes over MiraTech - the two switch places. Obsi becomes the villain, trained by a master - who now returns as a hero
[05/01/2012 15:21:52] Fay: MOTHER'S GOING OUT OF TOWN FOR FOUR DAYS!
[05/01/2012 15:21:57] Fay: PRAISE THE LORD!
[05/01/2012 15:21:59] Fay: ha!
[05/01/2012 15:22:06] Rhanite: Let the party rock ^^
[05/01/2012 15:22:22] Fay: sorry for the interruption again,had to,lol
[05/01/2012 15:22:29] Rhanite: quite allright ^^
[05/01/2012 15:23:13] Rhanite: Mira takes up the good fight, humbled, and eventually confronts her old allies to convince them to be nice
[05/01/2012 15:23:17] Rhanite: But...
[05/01/2012 15:24:27] Rhanite: meanwhile, that empathy and all that? It's been fading. The old Mira, the real mira, the monster has been gathering strength inside - and when she finally convinces her old allies to stop fighting, the monster resurfaces again
[05/01/2012 15:24:46] Fay: to gamises
[05/01/2012 15:24:49] Rhanite: Its a convoluted story - but its an attempt to explore well... the nature of a person
[05/01/2012 15:25:07] Fay: literally translated as : you fucked it
[05/01/2012 15:25:24] Fay: but the meaning there is : you're straining it hun,you re straining the story a LOT
[05/01/2012 15:25:45] Fay: I see the twist you re trying to pull through
[05/01/2012 15:26:07] Fay: but....meh,it's too much
[05/01/2012 15:26:18] Rhanite: So what would you do then?
[05/01/2012 15:26:57] Rhanite: I'm not saying its a done story or anything more than a loose collection of ideas in the process of coalescing
[05/01/2012 15:27:12] Rhanite: But if it's so bad, then how can it be improved?
[05/01/2012 15:27:27] Fay: People don't change/grow up when a sledgehammer hits them in the face. They go in shock,depression,insanity,you name it,till-if ever-they recover-phoooooooone
[05/01/2012 15:27:28] Fay: sec
[05/01/2012 15:28:11] Rhanite: I would pose then, that that is exactly what happens, isn't it though
[05/01/2012 15:30:30] Rhanite: character exists in cosmos state, in this case, a manipulative psycho. Sledgehammer brings on chaos state: betrayed, but motivated and shocked/ insanity (in this case, lack thereof) drives character. At the critical point, at the climax at the story though - recovery happens. Unfourtunately, "recovery" means returning to manipulative psycho
[05/01/2012 15:32:00] Rhanite: The chaos state is a flip: 180 degrees of the character. The old and the "usual" is snatched away and the Hero has to struggle to return to a cosmos state.
[05/01/2012 15:33:23] Rhanite: So while I agree its not best-seller material (and the story may not even come close to this plot, incidentally) - your suggestion is the exact same model I'm using
[05/01/2012 15:37:50] Fay: Back.
[05/01/2012 15:38:00] Fay: First of all,I need to say something-oh FFS PHONE
[05/01/2012 15:38:16] Rhanite: *snicker*
[05/01/2012 15:39:51] Fay: *switches mobile phone off*
[05/01/2012 15:39:59] Fay: Right.
[05/01/2012 15:40:01] Fay: So.
[05/01/2012 15:40:04] Rhanite: So.
[05/01/2012 15:40:28] Rhanite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxIOUJ7by6U
[05/01/2012 15:40:35] Rhanite: music while you think and write
[05/01/2012 15:42:23] Fay: First of all. In case you haven't noticed this already,hanging out with a Greek for more than a year now : we tend to express ourselves...strongly. So,may be in your Danish mind something like "to gamises" is too much/offensive/makes you wanna throw a five-days-cooked fish in my face but for me,it's everyday talk. No,it's more than that,it's the kind of straight-out and honest talk you only have with ppl close to you.
[05/01/2012 15:43:14] Fay: Now,on the story part : ever watched a movie that went just fine for a long time,and the,right there,around the end,the script writer in his effort to give a good enough twist,goes overboard?
[05/01/2012 15:43:50] Fay: That's the feeling I got.
[05/01/2012 15:44:34] Rhanite: I agree - I'm not being defensive - well... not intentionally. You know I think best when I keep the ideas going - which includes analysing the plot in relation to your critique by comparing them.
[05/01/2012 15:45:20] Rhanite: My amateur opinion on the matter is - its ultimately a question of time and pacing
[05/01/2012 15:45:40] Rhanite: Eh...
[05/01/2012 15:45:45] Rhanite: best metaphor I can think of
[05/01/2012 15:45:55] Rhanite: three-season series vs. a movie
[05/01/2012 15:46:38] Rhanite: a movie has a short time - story can't be TOO complex or convoluted. It's about making a message, a lesson, a scenario that is relateable in a short time
[05/01/2012 15:47:17] Fay: The difference is...you were overwhelmed and awed at the twist the Dexter creators gave at DDK,with the revelation that what's his name was imagining the Professor to be there still.
[05/01/2012 15:47:22] Fay: My reaction was : to gamises.
[05/01/2012 15:47:33] Fay: :P
[05/01/2012 15:48:06] Rhanite: Awed isn't the word - not gobsmacked. But it was well executed. A good detail that worked well for me
[05/01/2012 15:48:15] Rhanite: in my subjective opinion
[05/01/2012 15:48:21] Fay: You liked it? Better? ^^
[05/01/2012 15:48:30] Rhanite: Yar
[05/01/2012 15:48:32] Fay: well yeah ,always,that's what sparring is about anyway ^^
[05/01/2012 15:48:38] Rhanite: Of course
[05/01/2012 15:49:19] Rhanite: Got completely off on a tangent though - what I'd really like to dig into with your expertise is who Mira is. Why? How?
[05/01/2012 15:50:15] Rhanite: And how is it combined into this creature. And how does the idea get conveyed properly - or at least - how should the gameboard be set up so the right impression of the character can be given
[05/01/2012 15:50:45] Rhanite: What does it take to make our Steerpike as likeable as Pinkamena and as charismatic as Dexter
[05/01/2012 15:53:16] Rhanite: And retain the undercurrent - that subtle impression that this is something dangerous. More than "just" a criminal. An adversary - worthy, able to compete with animals physically superior
[05/01/2012 15:53:45] Fay: In other words : Fay dear,leave the story-telling to me and you focus on what you do best,character depth and progression. Aye aye,Sir! :D
[05/01/2012 15:54:26] Rhanite: I don't want her to be an american horror flick. All shock effects. That's not fear - thats loud noises... no, real horror. Pacing, ambient. makes you want to sleep with the lights on
[05/01/2012 15:54:51] Rhanite: Hehe well... you did rais ea good point and I concede it. I hope that through better characters - a better story emerges
[05/01/2012 15:55:09] Rhanite: With good characters, they almost take on their own life and you simply chronicle it, rather than force it out
[05/01/2012 15:56:55] Rhanite: So please ^^ I would really like your help!
[05/01/2012 15:57:07] Fay: I hear ye,and I shall do what I can
[05/01/2012 15:57:24] Fay: But...I'm starting to feel somewhat drained here,I need my pro quo.
[05/01/2012 15:57:34] Fay: Time to pay up some
[05/01/2012 15:57:40] Fay: So,I got a question for ya
[05/01/2012 15:57:44] Rhanite: Shoot
[05/01/2012 15:57:52] Rhanite: (as in, fire away)
[05/01/2012 15:58:41] Fay: Where on earth did you learn to focus on the positive of things?
[05/01/2012 15:58:44] Fay: How?
[05/01/2012 15:58:58] Fay: Was it something that exists in your family? One of its members is like that too?
[05/01/2012 15:59:24] Fay: I mean,okay,can't say I know you well,but I know some
[05/01/2012 15:59:32] Fay: and I often ponder
[05/01/2012 16:00:38] Rhanite: Not really. Or well, I dunno. Never discussed it with them really. Not much anyway - I was the one to mention it. Just sorta... puzzled it out. Found things to help back it it, made the choice to believe that it was a choice. I've yet to find people who really disagree
[05/01/2012 16:02:05] Fay: It runs deeper than that damn it
[05/01/2012 16:02:22] Rhanite: But then again, I'm a control freak. Comes with being emotionally closed off (I'm getting alot better tho) - but I dislike what I can't control. Didn't like floundering in a flood of negative emotions which well... that sorta comes with keeping it all bottled up
[05/01/2012 16:02:50] Fay: I know you ve been through some tough stuff,dunno the details,but I get the "vibe" alright. At the same time,you ve mentioned a number of times that it -was-fun growing up in your family
[05/01/2012 16:02:55] Fay: and it puzzles me
[05/01/2012 16:02:59] Fay: cause you emanate it
[05/01/2012 16:03:20] Rhanite: Oh yes, I love my family ^^
[05/01/2012 16:03:24] Fay: on one hand,intelligence and perception that goes beyond what it should be,and that doesn't just happen
[05/01/2012 16:04:12] Fay: on another,distance,coldness,when your passive aggressive side shows,i either want to start running or punch you
[05/01/2012 16:04:24] Fay: and then...somewhere underneath all that,there's warmth
[05/01/2012 16:04:29] Fay: and it freaking buffles me
[05/01/2012 16:04:53] Rhanite: Hehe
[05/01/2012 16:05:28] Rhanite: When I find a well-worded and concise explanation, you'll be one of the first to know
[05/01/2012 16:05:47] Rhanite: Until then I fear it's guesswork
[05/01/2012 16:06:51] Rhanite: But I dunno... when you spend alot of time inside your own head - I guess you do alot of soul-searching
[05/01/2012 16:07:32] Rhanite: Which can lead to - not answers - but well... kinda. Truths that help make the world make sense to you
[05/01/2012 16:08:31] Rhanite: They're not absolute but - they work into a kind of code though, don't they. You consider who you are and who you want to be. Both of them change, but your choices are taken into consideration
[05/01/2012 16:10:47] Rhanite: You can always choose, you just take the consequence of it. Some things are just... harder to choose. Fear is always in there. I know I could choose to open myself totally. Pull down the wall and bare it all. I won't though. I'm scared to do so, afraid of being that vulnerable. Every time I have, I've been burned badly - so go figure. I need something to convince me it'll be ok
[05/01/2012 16:12:00] Rhanite: In the meantime, I've constructed a very secret life, composed of layers upon layers that insulate me, safeguards and masks. Maybe if I can understand enough, I'll work up the courage to not be scared eh?
[05/01/2012 16:13:00] Rhanite: But until then, I have a pretty good idea of who I want to be
[05/01/2012 16:13:43] Rhanite: And I don't quite mind it in here -  its cozy and nice. And I'd like to share that more - so thats a goal of mine.
[05/01/2012 16:14:07] Rhanite: One of many ^^
[05/01/2012 16:15:39] Fay: See,the thing is...despite what we say when joking around,I don't believe you have the emotional range of a fork. And I don't think you're emotionally stumped or crippled or anything like that. On the contrary,I think that what you feel,you feel it to your core. You -are-sensitive. And that's not bad,don't get me wrong.
[05/01/2012 16:16:09] Fay: I actually think you "pick up" more than most ppl.
[05/01/2012 16:16:13] Rhanite: Oh no, I agree - "guarded" is probably a better word
[05/01/2012 16:17:09] Fay: Gimme a moment,I'm re-reading what you wrote,need to mull on it
[05/01/2012 16:21:44] Fay: Hmm.
[05/01/2012 16:21:54] Fay: May I comment on some things?
[05/01/2012 16:24:04] Rhanite: Knock yourself out
[05/01/2012 16:25:33] Fay: Why does it have to be either or?
[05/01/2012 16:25:50] Fay: I mean...you're always on my case about thinking on black and white
[05/01/2012 16:25:53] Fay: and you're right
[05/01/2012 16:26:00] Fay: (though,me too,am getting better!)
[05/01/2012 16:26:13] Fay: But it seems to me like you do that here as well.
[05/01/2012 16:26:15] Fay: I mean
[05/01/2012 16:26:35] Fay: May be it doesn't have to be a case of opening up completely or being closed off.
[05/01/2012 16:26:42] Fay: May be it's a question of choice.
[05/01/2012 16:26:56] Fay: As in,choose,how much,when,and to whom you open up.
[05/01/2012 16:27:56] Fay: If you open yourself up to someone who is more than obvious is gonna tread with dirty boots all over the place,that's just...stupid
[05/01/2012 16:28:05] Fay: Damn straight you're gonna be closed off.
[05/01/2012 16:29:13] Fay: But if you find some people are worthy of trust,well...why not?
[05/01/2012 16:30:41] Rhanite: Its not a boolean deal, no.
[05/01/2012 16:30:55] Rhanite: But as for why not, when that is the case? Well...
[05/01/2012 16:31:08] Fay: Fear?
[05/01/2012 16:31:28] Rhanite: Always. And trust. Thats an easy one to overthink
[05/01/2012 16:31:40] Rhanite: Consideration (misguided or otherwise)
[05/01/2012 16:31:54] Fay: Who castrated you so badly damn it?
[05/01/2012 16:31:58] Fay: Sorry.
[05/01/2012 16:32:00] Fay: Fuck
[05/01/2012 16:32:02] Fay: cancel that
[05/01/2012 16:37:15] Rhanite: Rhanite raises an eyebrow
[05/01/2012 16:38:22] Rhanite: Hahah! My Inner Animal is a clouded leopard... apparently
[05/01/2012 16:38:23] Rhanite: Your secretive nature makes you challenging to get to know. You look soft and cuddly and have a big heart, but you also have a quiet nature and tend to prefer life out of the spotlight. Escaping to the forest is a favorite pastime, especially in the warm weather of summer.
[05/01/2012 16:38:53] Fay: :)
[05/01/2012 16:39:00] Fay: Yeah well,you're water.
[05/01/2012 16:39:06] Fay: No surprise there.
[05/01/2012 16:39:18] Rhanite: water?
[05/01/2012 16:39:26] Fay: Mhm,your element,is water
[05/01/2012 16:39:47] Rhanite: According to my Zodiac I'm a Fire Rabbit
[05/01/2012 16:39:58] Rhanite: or a Cancer, depending on the zodiac
[05/01/2012 16:40:02] Fay: You're a cancer aren't you?
[05/01/2012 16:40:08] Fay: there ya go
[05/01/2012 16:40:11] Fay: water
[05/01/2012 16:40:19] Rhanite: that seems very arbitrary
[05/01/2012 16:40:29] Fay: be glad you re not in pisces,at least you get to come out of it :P
[05/01/2012 16:40:33] Fay: they re doomed ;p
[05/01/2012 16:40:46] Rhanite: Hurr
[05/01/2012 16:42:06] Fay: and yeah,well,don't believe in astrology per se,and there was a time that i was adamant it's bullshit
[05/01/2012 16:42:28] Fay: then I realized some things about this world
[05/01/2012 16:42:38] Fay: and saw there're some things that have a point
[05/01/2012 16:42:45] Fay: but yeah,well
[05/01/2012 16:43:01] Fay: don't really talk about that stuff,ppl look at me weird
[05/01/2012 16:43:06] Fay: weird-er
[05/01/2012 16:43:10] Fay: (chuckle)
[05/01/2012 16:43:47] Rhanite: Haw
[05/01/2012 16:45:00] Rhanite: So! Scales balanced then? the pro quo been met? hehe
[05/01/2012 16:45:20] Fay: I have a gazillion more questions
[05/01/2012 16:45:33] Rhanite: True, but this is you we're talking about
[05/01/2012 16:45:43] Fay: What's that supposed to mean?! :P
[05/01/2012 16:46:03] Rhanite: Rhanite snickers
[05/01/2012 16:46:09] Fay: pah
[05/01/2012 16:46:16] Fay: inquisitve mind!
[05/01/2012 16:46:21] Rhanite: One more question then
[05/01/2012 16:47:04] Fay: [16:31:08] Fay: Fear?
[16:31:28] Rhanite: Always. And trust. Thats an easy one to overthink
[16:31:40] Rhanite: Consideration (misguided or otherwise)
[05/01/2012 16:47:23] Fay: You gotta elaborate on that.
[05/01/2012 16:47:28] Fay: Overthinking...trust?
[05/01/2012 16:47:40] Fay: You don't think trust. You feel trust.
[05/01/2012 16:48:14] Rhanite: Agreed, but you think too. Its a balancing act Lead with the heart, temper with the mind
[05/01/2012 16:48:37] Rhanite: Find yourself somewhere between Sel and Mira on the scale
[05/01/2012 16:48:47] Fay: Are you telling me you don't trust yourself to figure out who you can trust?
[05/01/2012 16:48:53] Rhanite: Rhanite celebrates a well-executed link
[05/01/2012 16:49:44] Rhanite: I'm telling you that I believe it is prudent to temper emotion with reason, when it is relevant
[05/01/2012 16:50:09] Rhanite: And when it comes to trust, I believe it is very relevant
[05/01/2012 16:50:12] Rhanite: Besides
[05/01/2012 16:50:19] Fay: And where does the overthinking part comes in then?
[05/01/2012 16:51:37] Rhanite: Oh, thats a side-effect of being so damnably smart. My mom suffers from it too (I've told you this). We both experience "tankemylder" - teeming thoughts (best translation I have)
[05/01/2012 16:52:07] Rhanite: Minds never stop churning, never stop making scenarios, what-ifs, overthinking stuff
[05/01/2012 16:52:59] Rhanite: It can be overruled - its not compulsory - it can be guided too sometimes (makes it hard to sleep. hence lots of reading to focus thoughts and tire out mind)
[05/01/2012 16:54:02] Rhanite: and when you're chancin vulnerability, like this trust, you devote a fair bit of processing power to holding those barricades down - so instead the thoughts spill out less checked and you overthink alot
[05/01/2012 16:55:36] Rhanite: Thats one way its been experienced anyway
[05/01/2012 16:55:59] Fay: (hug)
[05/01/2012 16:56:17] Rhanite: a... teddy?
[05/01/2012 16:56:31] Fay: mhm,as in bear hug
[05/01/2012 16:56:59] Rhanite: Heh, thought it was something like that yeah
[05/01/2012 16:57:09] Rhanite: Well, that explain it?
[05/01/2012 16:57:16] Rhanite: -ish
[05/01/2012 16:57:34] Fay: It gae me insight alright,yeah.
[05/01/2012 16:57:37] Fay: gave too
[05/01/2012 16:57:41] Rhanite: Nicenice
[05/01/2012 16:57:47] Fay: Thus the hug.
[05/01/2012 16:57:55] Rhanite: Hehe
[05/01/2012 17:06:02] Fay: Can we please talk about chars and stories and all this from tomorrow on? I realized way too many things and my brain hurts as Monty Pythons would say
[05/01/2012 17:06:15] Fay: Need to go do silly stuff
[05/01/2012 17:07:32] Rhanite: By all means. I recommend applying ponies to the affected area
[05/01/2012 17:08:01] Fay: heh,thanks,but they don't do it for me
[05/01/2012 17:08:08] Fay: got some other stuff though,thank god
[05/01/2012 17:08:11] Fay: :)
[05/01/2012 17:08:45] Rhanite: I kid and good good. You should consider checking out Castle
[05/01/2012 17:09:12] Fay: but..i ve watched it all
[05/01/2012 17:09:17] Fay: at Stuart's
[05/01/2012 17:09:21] Fay: same as lie to me
[05/01/2012 17:13:43] Rhanite: Ohhh right
[05/01/2012 17:13:51] Fay: Do me a favour. When you got 4 mins and 40 seconds,go watch this. But watch it,closely,pay attention.
[05/01/2012 17:14:04] Rhanite: oookay?
[05/01/2012 17:14:05] Fay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLci5DoZqHU
[05/01/2012 17:19:15] Rhanite: Nice, very nice
[05/01/2012 17:19:19] Rhanite: Thats a keeper
[12:13:25] Rhanite: 'morning thar! Godayum that was a long day yesterday. Fifteen and-a-half *snickers*
[12:13:54] Fay: Fifteen and a half..what?
[12:13:58] Fay: and morning!
[12:14:28] Rhanite: Fifteen and a half hours at work heh
[12:14:31] Rhanite: and yeees
[12:14:35] Fay: !
[12:14:41] Fay: Weren't you working from home?!
[12:14:46] Rhanite: Yesterday? Nope
[12:15:01] Rhanite: Out of the house at about 8, home again at 5 past 11
[12:15:05] Fay: Ah ye right that was Wednesday
[12:15:13] Fay: WHAT?
[12:15:15] Fay: the fel
[12:15:22] Fay: what happened?!
[12:15:56] Rhanite: Unemployment meeting with my casehandler followed by 9-5 workday followed by workshop
[12:16:25] Fay: Workshop?
[12:17:38] Rhanite: Yar, kind of like a themed project meeting
[12:18:19] Rhanite: In this case, how to revamp the narrative structure of the game
[12:18:53] Rhanite: On the other hand, I revised the Precipitaion story abit based on your feedback - tightened it up abit
[12:19:40] Rhanite: Unsure of what to do with the setting - wracking my brain on how to solve that one since well... the setting I a) kinda like and b) is somewhat integrated, so it'd tear alot away with it if it was changed
[12:20:02] Rhanite: But there I go digressing again allready :P
[12:20:06] Rhanite: How does the day find you?
[12:22:07] Fay: Woke up a few mins ago by the sound of wind,rain and thunder and panicking thinking "Shit,my clothes are still out in the balcony,supposedly to dry!"
[12:22:19] Rhanite: Whoops
[12:22:50] Fay: Nah,this is Greece. Gone is the rain for now. So's the sunshine,but at least I saved my clothes
[12:23:17] Fay: And it's a huge bank holiday today in Greece as well,so not much is moving
[12:23:17] Rhanite: Very good, very good
[12:23:42] Fay: It's Fotini's (my best friend's) nameday as well,so i m invited over to her place for a party later
[12:24:03] Fay: tomorrow is tow other friends' nameday,guyas this time,and we re going out to a rock/metal club
[12:24:06] Fay: so hur hur
[12:24:25] Fay: i m gonna make the most of it,since i m home alone as well *grins evilly*
[12:25:26] Rhanite: Well, got your friday sorted then!
[12:25:27] Rhanite: Hehe
[12:25:44] Fay: Ayep
[12:25:49] Fay: are you at work now?
[12:25:59] Rhanite: I am, but that doesn't mean I can't talk... well - type
[12:28:45] Fay: are you familiar with pico di gallo  sauce?
[12:28:57] Rhanite: Iiiiii cannot claim to be, no
[12:30:20] Fay: it's alternative name is salsa fresca,how about now? :P
[12:30:58] Fay: anyway! made some yesterday,finally found a recipe i liked
[12:31:00] Rhanite: Well now THAT I recognize
[12:31:00] Fay: and yum
[12:31:05] Rhanite: Oho? Do share
[12:34:04] Fay: i ll give you the link-didn't use the cilantro cause it was impossible to find it in Greece,so I just added Greek parsley,which worked just fiiiiiiiiiine,since ours is very aromatic as well
[12:34:35] Rhanite: Omnom!
[12:34:53] Fay: http://eauthenticmexicanrecipes.com/mexican-salsa-recipe/mexican-salsa-recipe-authentic-pico-de-gallo-recipe
[12:35:18] Fay: and it's s cheap to make,here at least
[12:36:10] Rhanite: Oh yes, Salsa Fresca is good. Got my salsa cookbook from Key West. SO MUCH SALSA
[12:36:41] Fay: (chuckle)
[12:37:31] Rhanite: I have to get me this shirt: http://www.welovefine.com/product.php?id_product=974
[12:39:14] Fay: LOL!
[12:40:35] Rhanite: I know, right?
[12:41:03] Rhanite: Good intertextual reference, yet subtle and not in-your-face
[12:44:13] Fay: http://www.threadless.com/product/2602/Bad_Bad_Walker
[12:44:51] Rhanite: Hah!
[12:46:06] Fay: but the one i've promised myself of getting when I can afford it is this one :
[12:46:08] Fay: http://www.threadless.com/product/2000/Sky_Thief/tab,guys/style,shirt
[12:48:33] Rhanite: Its cool - I don't think I get the reference though
[12:48:48] Fay: There is none
[12:49:01] Fay: The concept and the colours are what caught me
[12:49:54] Rhanite: Ahh - well yeah
[13:00:59] Rhanite: So! Let me know if you on this sunny and busy - yet enjoyable day - have time for some psych talk about bad people
[13:06:16] Fay: will do
[13:08:43] Rhanite: Something very odd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_8yPap-k_s&feature=BFa
[13:13:44] Fay: hey,do you have the revised percipitation doc with you there by any chance?
[13:14:02] Fay: and that had better not be one of Guss' vids
[13:14:52] Fay: precipitation too
[13:47:05] Rhanite: Ah yes - back from lunch - and back yes
[13:47:11] Rhanite: Rhanite reboots brain
[13:47:15] Rhanite: yes, here lemme send it to you
[13:51:45] *** Rhanite sent Precipitationv1.1.pdf ***
[13:52:21] Rhanite: Now with corrections. To the comments on "sidled" and "arc" respectively, these are the intended and correct words - and where not changed
[14:04:14] Fay: kk
[14:34:50] Fay: Hooold on a sec....Zenrana is Alexander is your friend is that guy from WoW what's his name,Cristiano or sthg?
[14:35:27] Rhanite: Uh, yeah something along those lines
[14:35:42] Rhanite: (wow character that is - Zenrana is Alexander though, good friend)
[14:35:52] Fay: haw
[14:35:59] Rhanite: ¨Why d'ya ask?
[14:36:10] Fay: saw his face
[14:36:25] Rhanite: Oookay
[14:36:36] Fay: ye I know
[14:51:33] Rhanite: Heh
[14:55:19] Fay: Right! Let's read this
[14:55:46] Rhanite: Heeh. Changes are mostly in the beginning - beyond the corrections
[15:03:59] Fay: Do you remember Instinct?
[15:04:20] Rhanite: Yes?
[15:04:23] Fay: kk
[15:04:49] Fay: Asked cause I feel it's right there,with some of the things we ve been discussing
[15:05:20] Rhanite: Mm, true that
[15:06:31] Fay: *cringes*
[15:06:32] Fay: ahm
[15:06:42] Rhanite: ahm?
[15:07:13] Fay: I cannot see Mira as a woman,no way. Girl,yes.
[15:07:30] Fay: Yes,I'm hang up about a single word here
[15:07:40] Rhanite: Lets find out why
[15:07:42] Fay: "The woman glared at her reflection"
[15:07:58] Fay: that s the part i m talking about
[15:09:07] Fay: And,at the age you had in mind,she's still a girl anyway
[15:09:26] Rhanite: twenty eight?
[15:09:31] Fay: A woman...well. That has maturity in to a certain extent,and Mira is still...in the making
[15:09:34] Fay: yerp
[15:10:16] Rhanite: I dunno - I think most females I in their mid-to-late twenties that I know, would be annoyed if I defined them as girls
[15:10:34] Fay: i m not putting this the right way,gimme a moment
[15:11:17] Fay: Right,screw age
[15:11:30] Fay: That's not what I felt initially anyway
[15:12:58] Fay: I just have a hard time acceptring that a woman,a real woman,would spend her time the way Mira does. But I understand now that for you it's probably just a way of describing the character and on this one I-am-reading too much into it
[15:13:40] Rhanite: I do hear what you're hinting at. If you'll permit to to play devil's advocate then...
[15:14:48] Fay: "Mira glared at her reflection". THere,harmless. :P
[15:15:31] Rhanite: Nunuh, lemme finish here. I phrased it like that for a reason
[15:15:39] Rhanite: If we take one of the many definitions of a woman - say..."A woman is a strong, beautiful, vibrant creature. A woman embraces life, a woman makes choices to make her life better."
[15:15:53] Rhanite: As a point of reference
[15:17:04] Rhanite: I would argue this definition can apply
[15:19:05] Fay: Look, I just...this is personal, I happen to think that you're not born a man or a woman,you're born male/female,and become a man/woman as you grow up. Hopefully. But ok,that's me. Other ppl will most likely think differently.
[15:19:20] Fay: So I'll just move on.
[15:19:59] Rhanite: I don't disagree - I know a fair few guys whom I wouldn't define as "men", just as I know females I wouldn't call "women"
[15:22:21] Rhanite: But this does bring me on to - I've been mulling a fair but on providing more "how and why" for Mira - ibest example I can give... Dosteyevski's "The Idiot". If you jump in at the murder, he's just a scruffy psycho killing his landlady. It's the 300+ pages before that, which make us understand how and why a man can be driven to that act
[15:23:40] Fay: You've...read Dostoyevsky???????
[15:24:25] Rhanite: Knew I'd misspelled it - yeah, 'couple years ago - had alot fo spare time while figuring out which uni to study at when I lived at home
[15:24:45] Rhanite: Borrowed my dad's copy
[15:24:56] Fay: and i think it's crime and punishment you re referring to
[15:25:26] Fay: anyway
[15:25:27] Rhanite: Could be - was discussing one of them yesterday with my boss
[15:25:40] Rhanite: Anyway, yes
[15:26:20] Fay: yeah,just surprised there,had labeled you as someone who only reads fantasy/mystery etc stuff
[15:26:55] Fay: Right. How and why. We need a backbone in other words,like with Sel.
[15:26:56] Rhanite: *snicker* Not a one-trick pony
[15:27:01] Rhanite: Exactly
[15:27:18] Fay: Have you started writing Sel's story?
[15:27:30] Fay: Cause i m starting to think you alrady have your plate full with her for a while
[15:27:49] Rhanite: Not yet - haven't had time, but I'm mulling it and figuring out how to portray it now
[15:27:56] Rhanite: Oh, she only gets a chapter
[15:27:59] Rhanite: for now
[15:29:18] Fay: Ah
[15:31:07] Rhanite: The legwork is done though - and I may end up typing her "origin" into a real story on the sidelines
[15:31:37] Rhanite: I have the entire discussion and back-n-forth logged and saved - so I know I won't forget any of it
[15:31:53] Fay: Right,well
[15:32:19] Fay: lemme brainstorm here
[15:32:31] Fay: *loosens brain taps*
[15:33:38] Fay: Mira...crikey,what a persona. A cat,ofc she's a cat-talking in symbols here,duh. Small,lithe,agile,fast,smart beyond words. And as any small creature,or small-hearted creature,she's controlling
[15:34:04] Fay: she's weak
[15:34:06] Fay: god she's weak
[15:34:15] Fay: and to compensate,she overthinks
[15:34:27] Fay: she's weak not only in body,but also in heart
[15:34:51] Rhanite: Right, lessee yeah
[15:35:35] Rhanite: As you say, small, agile, smart. Has to outhink to survive. Has to understand to outhink
[15:35:51] Rhanite: Can control by outthinking
[15:35:56] Fay: early enough,she realizes that s the only way she will experience...anything
[15:36:22] Fay: she doesnt believe she's worth anything else than someone or soemthing who would only be tied to her through control
[15:36:38] Fay: casue hey,she's weak,scared,who would ever loved a creature like that
[15:36:41] Fay: but
[15:36:45] Fay: Mira is also proud
[15:36:59] Fay: there's something inside of her,that goes "imma show them"
[15:37:10] Rhanite: Hmm... now I understand why you find her pathetic
[15:37:22] Rhanite: And why I disagree with the assessment
[15:37:41] Fay: She's pathetic cause she doesn't live,and she can't even see it
[15:38:02] Rhanite: Hm, let me try a hand at this then...
[15:38:02] Fay: but hey,i learned recently that some ppl are happy in their cages
[15:39:12] Rhanite: We start at age six. Before then is mystery. She has no past - if she knows she isn't telling. What they know is that she is... wrong somehow. Broken. She is too smart, too clever and she seems so very callous and cold
[15:39:32] Fay: And-i m going by what you told me yesterday here,that you wanna make her dangerous. If you wanna make us feel sympathy for her,can be done too.
[15:41:01] Rhanite: Now - lets get inside that head of hers. She is different, she knows this. They all move according to patterns, according to ridgid beliefs and habits and she sees them. They're predictable and they are disgusting.
[15:41:18] Fay: Nuh uh,first you gotta tell me why you disagree
[15:41:51] Rhanite: I am in the process of it. I don't think she is pathetic, I think she is tragic - and I am trying to explain why
[15:44:46] Rhanite: She sees that they are slaves to impulses she doesn't feel. Not really. She can't remember ever feeling them. There is miniscule ball inside her - an apocalyptic storm in a glass of water - but it is under control. She found something to wrap around it inside her, to feed on and contain it and it made it easier to see these patterns - to see danse and its steps
[15:46:05] Rhanite: They're very good at at trying to break her will, very good at trying to force her under their thumbs and into their game - make her another part of it. Take away her advantage, control her, placate her. Eliminate the competition.
[15:46:34] Rhanite: Force her to dance and make her believe the lies they tell themselves are truth
[15:48:18] Rhanite: But she endures. She fights them, their attempts come close - maybe she even succumbs once or twice, but the monster as they call it - heh... so be it. She armors herself in that and it helps her remain true to her nature and who she is.
[15:49:22] Rhanite: They don't know she hears them talk behind closed doors - hears what they say about the people they are trying to "help". Hypocrites. Scared little scavengers, preying on the broken and dying, on those who are different and who hear a different song.
[15:51:14] Fay: She sees in others,what she is. We all do.
[15:51:41] Fay: She sees people who try to control her,break her will,turn her away from what she -thinks-she is,but that's not it.
[15:52:10] Fay: A tragic figure doesn't bring hardship onto herself on purpose -i m no drama expert,but it s the feel I get of it
[15:52:34] Rhanite: Oh, not at the tragedy part yet
[15:52:43] Fay: in tragedies,classical ones at least,ppl are hit hard and they try to overcome it,that s why it s dramatic and they move us
[15:52:47] Fay: ah sorry
[15:53:48] Rhanite: She's not so caught up in her impressions of the Facility that she blinds herself. In fairness, she can only work with what she has.
[15:54:28] Fay: She's built a cage, Elan
[15:54:33] Fay: a cage for herself
[15:54:36] Fay: and it's her own doing
[15:54:50] Fay: she's comfy in it,and yes,it suits her
[15:54:57] Fay: but it's still a cage damn it
[15:55:05] Fay: ALL that brilliance
[15:55:06] Rhanite: Still not done though
[15:55:15] Fay: ALL that fucking wonderful,unbelievable intelligence
[15:55:22] Fay: (gah sorry,lol )
[15:55:46] Rhanite: I know :P I've only presented one facet so far heh... it does take me a few moments to coalesce the ideas into words ^^'
[15:55:57] Rhanite: The alpha, the father, the doctor Voltaire Aries challenges her and she appreciates it. He is different
[15:56:31] Rhanite: He doesn't tell her she is broken, doesn't try to make her a puppet
[15:57:46] Rhanite: He engages her instead. Listens to her - tries to help her understand WHY
[15:58:49] Rhanite: He makes the time more bearable.
[15:59:31] Rhanite: Eventually, he even takes her from St. Anthony's and into his own home - help give her some perspective.
[16:02:25] Rhanite: What she finds though - what dawns on her is why he is so understanding and why he treates her as he does. He is different too. But she sees what he does to this family - how he practices the same ruthless control as they do at the asylum - enforces the same lie that permeates and shackles everyone outside its walls. Everyone who is "normal".
[16:05:16] Rhanite: While she does not feel their pain, what is written on their faces so plainly and accepted as happiness, she tries to understand why then. Talks to them, watches, absorbs the impressions. Burns them into her mind.
[16:08:06] Rhanite: She won't accept what he does, so she brings her mind to bear and outmaneuvers Voltaire. Makes him underestimate her, moves the pieces and begins to play the Game with a goal beyond survival. She starts playing to overcome and to free herself and those caught in Voltaire's web
[16:09:22] Rhanite: She corners him, everything is set and he will be revealed. undone. But she miscalculates - he has played the game longer than she.
[16:09:39] Fay: You're pushing my buttons,so hard,that I'm seriously starting to have a hard time controling myself
[16:09:49] Fay: i m gonna start shouting here
[16:09:53] Rhanite: Rhanite raises an eyebrow "good or a bad thing"
[16:10:05] Fay: Good you re far away I'd wager
[16:10:17] Rhanite: Hah! Onwards!
[16:10:44] Fay: malaka tha ta kanw poutana ola omws
[16:10:51] Fay: to be translated later
[16:11:09] Fay: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING LIFE!
[16:11:53] Fay: SHE UNDERSTANDS,SHE SEES,HER MIND WORKS FFS,SHE CLAIMS ALL SHE WANTS IS TO GET OUT OF THE WEB OTHERS ARE TRYING TO CREATE FOR HER,BUT SHE'S JSUT AS BAD AS THEM!
[16:12:10] Fay: Her focus is external god damn it,not internal!
[16:12:15] Rhanite: Can I finish?
[16:12:18] Fay: No ;p
[16:12:22] Rhanite: I will anyway
[16:12:35] Fay: I know,i ll find something to chew on meanwhile or i ll punch you ;p
[16:12:42] Rhanite: Bring it :P
[16:12:44] Fay: *chews on rubber ball*
[16:13:22] Rhanite: He abuses what she overlooked. She is small and weak. He isn't.
[16:14:09] Rhanite: Her only recourse is to retreat inside. Deep inside. Make that armor impenetrable.
[16:16:05] Rhanite: When she finally emerges, he is bringing her back to the facility, she is confined again - he almost broke her then.
[16:18:04] Rhanite: Over the next few years she focuses now on escaping - she'll be trapped and at the mercy of these animals for the rest of her life if she doesn't. They'll use drugs and machines and everything they can to make the sheep docile
[16:18:59] Rhanite: (small story in itself could be written on this part, so skipping on)
[16:20:49] Rhanite: Finally, she orchestrates a situation that allows her to escape the facility. When she has run as far as she can and then further, she begins to rebuild herself and take stock of freedom.To understand what it means.
[16:21:50] Rhanite: She tries to let others in, to live, as you say
[16:22:14] Rhanite: Some recoil, the rest abuse. They are all afraid of her.
[16:24:16] Fay: She wouldn't know someone who only wanted to love her if he was right in front of her screaming hins lungs out that he adores her.
[16:25:58] Rhanite: Like I said, she tried. Came close too. But no matter what she did - they wouldn't accept her. Not really. Not when all the masks fall and she stands naked in the light
[16:27:53] Rhanite: Thus, she becomes determined to carve out a place for herself. If she wants to help them be free to make their own choices, she needs to be free herself. So she returns to playing the Game. Does what she must to survive. Builds her ivory tower to gain a vantage from which to see and learn. Understand how to find acceptance.
[16:28:53] Rhanite: But the Game is cruel and cold. To excel, you have to be an animal, a predator. She uses what she has - even predators are afraid of monsters, so a monster she becomes.
[16:31:11] Rhanite: And as she climbs and builds, the goal begins to blind her - she's not perfect. The means are irrelevant and the bricks of her tower are painted with blood. By the time she reaches the plinth, she has played for too long.  Become too wrapped up in the Game
[16:32:15] Rhanite: To stay on top she has to play it constantly. To make her kingdom, to be free and let others do the same, she can't rest. And can't spare the time to be free herself.
[16:33:03] Rhanite: So yes, she builds a monumental cage with her own bones and chains herself to it with her ideals.
[16:33:32] Fay: You don't need me. You have Mira cut out,ready,perfect.
[16:33:41] Fay: Also,this is starting to take a toll on me.
[16:33:46] Rhanite: And becomes what she wanted to be free of. The question is: did she ever have a choice?
[16:34:00] Rhanite: Well, I'm done now - thats what I have
[16:34:58] Fay: All this is fine and dandy,and I know it's a story,fiction etc etc,but I do know I see myself in Sel and you in Mira (for some part,cause I can find references in both chars),and this is really beginning to...cost.
[16:36:06] Fay: I cannot for the life of me understand how you can understand,pick up,dissect a personality like that,and on the other hand,have your fear.
[16:36:15] Fay: I just can't.
[16:37:05] Fay: I've searched a fucking million times inside of me to find a point of reference,to that fear,in an attempt to understand,and what I found was something,but I'm beginning to realize not even close to what you must be describing.
[16:37:18] Fay: And in any case,I'm gonna shut up right now,cause this is really taking a toll.
[16:37:45] Fay: Talk later Elan,I gotta regroup.
[16:39:47] Rhanite: Righto - I wouldn't take it so hard though. Fear isn't rational - you can't just reason it away. It takes wisdom, experience and perspective to fight it
[16:40:42] Fay: What are you so fucking afraid of ? Getting hurt?
[16:41:07] Fay: And yeah,that question goes to me as well.
[16:41:14] Fay: Fay and her mirrors.
[16:43:47] Rhanite: Answer from the hip? Of course. When you wear a suit of exposed nerve endings, you don't play with a searing firepoker, do you?
[16:44:18] Rhanite: Or lean a naked hand on a hot stove. You know that's stupid.
[16:45:26] Fay: Bloody hell I'm angry right now. I'm angry cause I see in you something of myself that I don't like. Typical.
[16:45:39] Fay: And yeah,that's stupid alright. And yeah,fear is irrational.
[16:45:41] Fay: But.
[16:45:46] Fay: Everybody's scared.
[16:45:49] Fay: EVERYBODY.
[16:46:10] Fay: What the fuck is it that makes some ppl act anyway,dspite the fear?
[16:46:19] Fay: And,hah. More importantly :
[16:47:00] Fay: I know I have a freaking lion's heart. I've done thins that other ppl look at and yes,admire me for doing them. And I keep on doing them. If there's one thing I know about myself,is that I DARE.
[16:47:18] Fay: And yet...when it comes to matters of the heart...I still cower.
[16:47:33] Fay: And I see that in you as well,and it bugs me as hell. I don't get it.
[16:47:55] Fay: I look at my family,and yeah,there are answers there. But hell I should be better than that.
[16:49:40] Rhanite: I know this is batting the hornet's nest, but dare what exactly? That is rather vague
[16:50:04] Rhanite: If you're gonna talk down, I'd like to know from where *chuckles*
[16:50:29] Fay: talk down? sorry,what does that mean?
[16:52:11] Rhanite: I may be misunderstanding. The way it is phrased, it sounds as though you are talking down to me - ehh... to speak condescendingly, as though privy to knowledge not possessed by both parties
[16:52:27] Fay: :O
[16:52:41] Fay: No no no no no no no no no no no no
[16:52:43] Fay: NO!
[16:53:02] Fay: gah typing and its limitations
[16:53:04] Fay: No!
[16:53:27] Rhanite: But more to the point - I don't want to agitate you or like... get you bummed out if since you're gonna go have a good time with Fotini and friends on her name day :) rather pick this up later or drop it - so you can focus on being in a good mood for both her and yourself today ^^
[16:54:05] Fay: Elan!
[16:54:11] Fay: This,is feeding me
[16:54:20] Fay: Discussions like this are what i live for
[16:54:27] Fay: plus music and sunsets
[16:55:20] Rhanite: Fair enough - you where just saying it was taking its toll and stuff, and it occurred to me that that'd be unfair if you want to like... be in a party mood
[16:55:38] Fay: I never meant to make it sound condescending,on the contrary,I see in you something of myself I don't like,that's personal,mine,mea culpa,just reflected on you
[16:56:31] Fay: What I can't understand,is how the hell I dare to go for the things I want,how I dare fight for my dreams with tooth and nail,how I throw myself in the fight like there's no tomorrow even though i -am'afraid
[16:56:54] Rhanite: Stupidity?
[16:56:56] Rhanite: Another word for bravery :P
[16:57:06] Fay: howi leave my safe haven for a dream,for love,how I dare learn even from something that can potentially cripple me
[16:57:19] Fay: No,it's not stupidity,cause i DO feel fear.
[16:57:43] Fay: But when someone,a man,shows signs that he's serious,I run. God I run.
[16:58:09] Fay: It is taking a toll yeah,but i cant pull away now
[16:58:10] Rhanite: Well because your desire to attain these nebulous constructs of your mind overrules your core programming of survival eh?
[16:58:19] Fay: Fotini of all ppl will understand
[16:59:29] Fay: they re not nebulous constructs of my mind!
[16:59:41] Fay: they re dreams,desires,needs,my reason for being alive
[16:59:53] Fay: what makes me FEEL alive
[17:00:32] Rhanite: Just because they're nebulous constructs of your mind, doesn't mean they aren't real, woman! EVERYTHING is in your mind.
[17:01:06] Fay: ah that's what you mean
[17:01:33] Fay: thought you were making it sound as if i m chasing pink fluffy clouds and wild geese
[17:01:50] Rhanite: I can neither confirm nor deny that
[17:02:06] Rhanite: What you do or do not chase is your business ;p
[17:02:30] Rhanite: Personally, I chase coffee and anthropomorphic animals
[17:02:54] Rhanite: Occasionally stories
[17:03:19] Fay: Right.
[17:03:45] Fay: I'll take my just-slapped face away then.
[17:04:09] Rhanite: You're taking it awfully seriously
[17:04:15] Fay: Damn straight I am.
[17:04:18] Rhanite: The only person slapping anyone is you
[17:04:33] Fay: Bullshit
[17:05:46] Rhanite: Me, I was accepting that I chase all manner of things. We all do
[17:05:53] Fay: I didn't ask to pat me in the back and go "yeah Fay,good dreams there girl,go for it".
[17:06:05] Rhanite: Doesn't matter what you call it. Pink clouds, coffee. Thats just words
[17:06:07] Fay: I know what each one of us chases is his business. Duh.
[17:06:23] Fay: WHat I'm asking,is your insight,since you seem to be more versed in fear than me.
[17:07:07] Fay: So there you have it :
[17:07:45] Fay: You know you want something with all your heart,you know you're not a coward,you know that's probably one of the numbered chances you have in your life to be happy.
[17:07:53] Fay: And yet,you run away,cause you're scared.
[17:08:15] Fay: I don't understand why I do that. So,if you have any insight on the matter,please share.
[17:08:17] Fay: Simple as.
[17:08:21] Fay: If not,tis cool.
[17:08:34] Rhanite: Hm, let me think on this a mo then
[17:09:35] Rhanite: Well, let me ask then. Do you have Faith.
[17:10:05] Rhanite: I'm not asking about religion. Faith. The absolute acceptance
[17:10:31] Fay: In what?
[17:11:07] Rhanite: Since you have to ask - I'm liable to assume that is a no
[17:11:17] Rhanite: I'll explain
[17:13:29] Rhanite: My view on the matter is, that you are scared because in spite of your desire, your guts and your assumptions - you aren't -there- yet on conviction. You don't with all your heart beyond any doubt, believe in happy endings. Not absolutely.
[17:14:28] Rhanite: Since that Faith is not complete, just a sliver of doubt can creep through. Break the glass.  And doubt begets fear.
[17:15:34] Rhanite: And being smart, you thus stay guarded - even if you're not "really" aware of it.
[17:15:56] Rhanite: And when you're guarded, Fight or Flight invariably comes into play
[17:17:23] Rhanite: You've convinced yourself you're brave - you're a psychotherapist. You're VERY convincing. That kind of courage is only as strong as your conviction though.
[17:18:32] Rhanite: My best example is well... my brother. He is one of the bravest people I know. He has true courage. Granted, it comes at the cost of other aspects - thats true for everyone
[17:19:06] Rhanite: You're more like me. We're too smart to be couragous
[17:19:10] Rhanite: Rather
[17:19:37] Rhanite: that courage is traded for different strengths
[17:19:55] Rhanite: (can't with any reasonability claim Asher isn't at least as smart as I am heh)
[17:21:33] Fay: [17:13] Rhanite:

<<< My view on the matter is, that you are scared because in spite of your desire, your guts and your assumptions - you aren't -there-
[17:21:40] Fay: Assumptions? What assumptions?
[17:21:59] Rhanite: [17:07] Fay:

<<< You know you want something with all your heart,you know you're not a coward,you know that's probably one of the numbered chances you have in your life to be happy.
[17:22:14] Fay: How's that an assumption?
[17:22:32] Rhanite: Numbered chances you have in your life to be happy
[17:22:44] Rhanite: that you want something with all your heart
[17:22:46] Rhanite: that you're not a coward
[17:23:10] Fay: Wh....for real? Assumptions?!
[17:23:30] Rhanite: Hey, I only KNOW one thing. That is that I know nothing. Everything else is assumption
[17:23:56] Fay: Don't throw Greek philosophy at me,i ll retaliate ;p
[17:24:43] Rhanite: Hehe
[17:24:49] Fay: I disagree with you on so many levels,it's gonna take us hours.
[17:24:53] Fay: Well...even more hours.
[17:24:59] Rhanite: Naw its easy
[17:25:09] Rhanite: Are you smarter than the greek philosophers?
[17:25:37] Rhanite: u c wat i did thar
[17:25:54] Rhanite: To prove me wrong you now have to assume, and thereby prove me right
[17:26:09] Rhanite: Well, maybe
[17:26:26] Rhanite: Maybe you are *chuckles*
[17:29:31] Rhanite: Hark, is that the sound of teeth grinding?
[17:29:55] Fay: υοθ βετ υοθρ αρσε ιτ ισ
[17:29:59] Fay: oops
[17:30:11] Fay: you bet your arse it is
[17:30:20] Rhanite: Mwuahahahahaa
[17:30:30] Fay: Seriously,this is...huge.
[17:30:51] Fay: I'm like,gaping at how fundamentally differently we think.
[17:31:08] Fay: Γνώθι σαυτόν,μηδέν άγαν.
[17:31:17] Fay: Know yourself,nothins in excess.
[17:31:20] Fay: nothing*
[17:31:29] Fay: Eat that,Socrates.
[17:31:50] Fay: I ve busted my arse trying to figure out what it is that -I want for myself in this life we lead
[17:31:59] Fay: and still do,as it changes
[17:32:03] Fay: and as i grow up
[17:32:34] Fay: i ve gone from downright hating myself to some form of acceptance and even love
[17:33:21] Fay: and here you are,telling me what,exactly? That when my lovely,unique,amazing,bedazzling,downright wonderful self talks to me and tells me what she wants,i ll go throw a "all i know is I know nothing" at her?
[17:34:05] Rhanite: Oh, everything is fair in war and philosophy
[17:34:19] Fay: You are SO luck you are far away.
[17:34:23] Rhanite: I so am
[17:34:24] Fay: You have no idea.
[17:34:41] Rhanite: It stings because a part of you agrees
[17:34:41] Fay: You'd have...pie thrown all over you.
[17:34:52] Fay: Smared into your face till you can't breathe and you gotta eat it
[17:35:27] Fay: and then I'd decorate you some more by throwing tangerine pieces
[17:35:31] Fay: God..
[17:35:59] Fay: and no it doesn't sting,I'm really in awe here
[17:36:16] Fay: I never thought we d think SO differently on so fundamental things
[17:36:41] Fay: I ll leave one chance open,after -if ever-we talk about this for hours,we may find out we agree in the end
[17:36:44] Fay: happens all the time
[17:36:47] Fay: but for now
[17:36:50] Fay: god damn son
[17:36:56] Fay: as a friend likes to say
[17:37:33] Fay: LOL, and I haven't even touched the rest!
[17:37:46] Fay: this was only on your so called assumptions!
[17:37:51] Fay: *gnaws*
[17:38:41] Rhanite: You sked for my opinion heh... thats what you got
[17:38:45] Rhanite: *asked
[17:39:25] Fay: Oh yeah,and thanks for giving it,come on,I thought we were past that ><
[17:39:46] Rhanite: We are *grins*
[17:40:03] Rhanite: Just calling it into perspective
[17:40:29] Fay: Christ I still can't get over it lol
[17:40:31] Fay: bloody hell
[17:40:38] Fay: *takes a deep breath*
[17:40:38] Rhanite: Shazam
[17:40:46] Fay: Gimme an example of true courage.
[17:40:54] Fay: Finish me off,come on
[17:41:01] Fay: *braces self*
[17:46:27] Rhanite: Hmm...
[17:46:39] Rhanite: I don't know if I can put it into words properly
[17:49:08] Rhanite: As I said, my brother has it - I feel. He never needs to pause, he never doubts and he is able to just "do". And he is always able to come out ahead
[17:54:03] Rhanite: Yeah - tough to explain. It's an impression, y'know?
[17:54:09] Rhanite: Words don't do it justice
[17:54:33] Fay: Alright
[17:56:43] Rhanite: Anyhow, I'll take my leave to go visit with friends and do some storytelling. You have a greta evening now yeah?
[17:58:05] Fay: *throws some more pie at you* Get outta here :P