Cantar De Procella

Mornings at the beach, where clear blue green waters remind me of how it used to be. I play with the waves like a little kid and I'm smiling like one too, enjoying it. My body remembers, I can still swim well - am out of shape though, I lose my breath fast. And swimming in the sea is much harder than the pool. Hadn't swam in over a year, missed it immensely. I must see what I can do to afford it when I get back home.

Back home..the UK..home.. Hah.

I've changed, a lot. I don't feel Greek, don't feel British - yet- either. I love Greece, but living here will turn me angry and edgy again,and I don't want it. In the UK I feel like I can be myself, and not get judged. I like that, I don't want to make it hard on me any more, enough.

A man at the beach told me I'm very beautiful.
Another one wanted to know why I don't have kids yet since I'm old enough to have them and made a wish for my unborn child.
Another one told me I'm a sweetie.
Another one took me out on a date.


I simply smile, probably sadly.


I miss you.
I showed my mum your picture and she smiled. She then asked me if we had any further contact. I said we did, in a way. But it was hard for both of us.
My friends wanted to know all about you, of course. I told them what I could. You're still here, you see. Even if you probably don't know it.
I left from two different shops when "I need you now" by Lady Antebellum started playing. Couldn't bear it.

But..I'm having a good time, and I'm grateful. I feel grateful for being able to do the things I do. I feel grateful for a lot of things, and I like it. I like this Fay I see, even if she's a little sadder than what she used to be.

She'll turn around.


In the meantime, few things in this world compare to swimming in the Aegean and having this bright sunlight flood everything and the bluest sky you can imagine right above you, engulfing everything.


Life!
Is good.


Θα το πάω, όσο και όπως μπορώ.