Cantar De Procella

Rhanite: Ah, back online?
Salihah: yeah,Steam works again
Salihah: wb
Rhanite: Ta
Salihah: Still Terraria? Not done with it yet?!
Rhanite: The world-building aspect is fun
Rhanite: Creating a kickass castle or something
Rhanite: Oh yeah, I was reading about your rogue's namesake today
Salihah: heh :) You've reached that part then
Rhanite: Oh yes
Salihah: Yeah,Alayaya was...quite the character alright
Salihah: Small part but oh well
Salihah: part too
Rhanite: Hehe
Rhanite: Chetaya's Daughter eh?
Salihah: mhm hm
Salihah: though,in all honesty,i chose that name cause Nymeria wasn't available
Salihah: but it's roguish enough
Rhanite: Heh... now I wonder - with what you told me, of that character's old intent, if there's some manner of connection to the nature of her namesake?
Rhanite: Cunning to borrow the name from a bit-part character though - very small likelihood of being called on it ^^ Nymeria would have been quite abit more recognizable
Rhanite: So, this Melisandre character. I'm taking a liking to her - she's quite cool
Salihah: sec Elan
Rhanite: tes'm
Rhanite: *yes'm
Salihah: CPH Zombie Crawl 2011?
Salihah: Danes are nuts :P
Rhanite: This is true
Rhanite: sounds fun though
Rhanite: Whats it about then?
Salihah: took place already from what i iunderstand
Rhanite: Dang
Salihah: a bunch of ppl dressing up as Zombies and roaming the streets of Copenhagen
Rhanite: Fun :p
Salihah: I'll bet :P
Salihah: especially for the innocent by standers!
Salihah: so,yes
Salihah: Alayaya was a roguish enough name
Salihah: okay the fact that she was a prostitute's daughter wasn't exactly appealing but
Salihah: Alayaya in my eyes seemed kind hearted,witty,and with a taste for eroticism/sexual pelasures,due to her past mainly
Salihah: or rather,origins
Salihah: so yes,I found it fitting
Salihah: I did roll Alaya to RP with. And Alaya's always liked her men.
Salihah: So,what are your vices?
Rhanite: Aside from my pride?
Salihah: mhm hm
Salihah: all/any of them
Rhanite: Well, all of them, I guess
Rhanite: At one point or another
Salihah: There's NO vice you don't relate to?!
Rhanite: Naw, I'm a fan of all seven
Salihah: No,those are the deadly sins ;p
Salihah: i m talking vices!
Rhanite: Well, within what scope is your question then? It's potentially infinite
Salihah: True that
Salihah: let's narrow it down to evil habits then
Salihah: or immoral practices
Salihah: sthg you do,you enjoy it immensely,and feel naughty when doing it
Salihah: to put it lightly
Salihah: anything goes,from eating jam by sticking your finger in it to sex to immorality,the lot
Rhanite: That's still a pretty bigass list to choose from. I honestlky couldn't say in that scope
Rhanite: That's why I'm a fan of more... general classes, rather than instantiated examples - the latter could be a list of pages and pages
Rhanite: Things I may know, things I haven't tried, things I've not heard of... too many to consider
Salihah: okay then
Salihah: dropping it
Rhanite: Well now, easy on
Rhanite: Where's the question come from? I'm curious
Salihah: just a random sentence I read
Salihah: no biggie
Rhanite: Oh? Where?
Salihah: It really doesn't matter,it just got me thinking about vices,what they are really,and how they say everyone's got them
Salihah: so i started wondering what mine are
Salihah: and then,for the sake of conversation,thought i d ask you
Rhanite: Nifty. It's not that I'm reluctant to answer as such - but you know I don't like giving half-ass or unconsidered answers. I'm not good "on the spot" - I'd lave to think on it, that was why I tried to get a dialogue going on the nature of the vices, the source of the question - all of that - to help rein in thoughts and put the pieces together into answers I'd be satisfied with
Rhanite: So it's not that I don't want to discuss it
Rhanite: I just can't rattle off a list off the top of my head within a few moments of you asking me what my vices are. You know how the voices work. "Vices huh? Hm, WoD has Vices, though they're the deadly sins - they're kinda cool. Yeah, we all have those in us - so sure I have 'em all." "Well, what do I consider a vice? What practices do I have that are vices? Do I want to share them with Fay?" "Is this related to the RP we where talking about?"
Salihah: my God Elan...
Salihah: You're worse even than me when it comes to thinking :P
Rhanite: I thought you'd realized this by now
Salihah: I'm a late bloomer.
Rhanite: Haw
Rhanite: So yes, a longwinded explination
Salihah: I enjoy a bit too much eating straight from the pot.
Salihah: I mean,plates,cutlery...pft. Over rated.
Salihah: Also,taking honey straight from the jar,with a finger, Just a lil,for the taste.
Salihah: Yum.
Rhanite: Hehe
Salihah: I don't like people using my towel
Rhanite: That seems on the innocent side of vices, I think
Salihah: If you touch my towel you die
Salihah: well you gotta start somewhere
Rhanite: Hm... you sure we aren't talking quirks here?
Salihah: nope
Salihah: trying to make out the difference in my mind
Rhanite: Vices tend to be abit more serious - usually destructive in one form or another, and at a sigifigant the expense to the indulger
Rhanite: At least in my mind
Salihah: hmmm
Rhanite: ¨Vices are stuff like drugs, gamling, prostitution and whathaveyou
Salihah: haw
Salihah: is food a vice?
Rhanite: Overindulgence, perhaps
Rhanite: But that's Gluttony, really
Rhanite: I like the Deadly Sin Vices - they kinda cover the gambit
Salihah: *scratches head*
Rhanite: err, I mean spectrum
Salihah: hmm
Rhanite: Well, vices are mostly actions that teeter on the brink of control, if slipping from it
Rhanite: and yet they are sought almost compulsively, despite their self destructive nature
Rhanite: because doing so is cathartic
Salihah: well,i dont do drugs,i m not a ho,i hate gambling,sex is for pleasure and resonance,nothing else,so I m starting to think i don't have vices!
Salihah: omg!
Salihah: unless we take into consideration the 7 deadly sins
Salihah: in which case...guilty
Salihah: aaaaaand he goes afk on me
Salihah: *slaps*
Rhanite: Oy
Rhanite: Well, fair enough - should get some food going anyhow
Salihah: yeah ok
Rhanite: Silliness...
Rhanite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-mOy8VUEBk
Salihah: Elan...okay..it sucks that the first time you actually reached out first and talked to me I'll have to say this,but I cannot ignore it
Salihah: I'm angry
Salihah: and I don't even understand why
Salihah: but right now I'm seriously angry at you
Rhanite: Ookay...
Salihah: it just feels so lame,talking about...meaningless things after everything...that's happened
Salihah: No,I can't do this,I'll end up hating you,and I don't want that. I can't just pretend nothing happened and play friends,I feel as if I've been given something and then deprived of it. And after the last talk we had,things inside of me..changed.
Salihah: I'm spent Elan.
Salihah: I don't have anything else to give.
Salihah: I just feel....wasted somehow. Not from alcohol.
Rhanite: *sigh* I don't like it, but it's getting frustrating. First you want me to keep my distance, so I do. Then you berate me for it, and get antsy if I don't pay attention, so I try and reach out. And now that's not good enough either. Please, just tell me what you want me to do, Fay. This bandying back and forth is getting exhausting.
Salihah: I'm in the same position you are.
Salihah: If I had my way,you'd be mine. Pure and simple. For however long it lasted. A month? A month. Two?Three? Fine. But this...I understand what you mean,it's frustrating indeed. On the other hand,my stomach fucking twists at the prospect of never seeing you again,I cannot bear it,so I too don't know what to do.
Rhanite: Well, This is what I suggest then:
Rhanite: Think on it, feel around and then make a decision. Either we hang out and chat and stuff, or we leave each other alone.
Rhanite: Until then, I'll leave you to finding that out - and I won't bother you
Rhanite: But when you then do make your decision, be sure of it
Salihah: What about your dilemma,then,Elan?
Salihah: What about that?
Rhanite: I can't focus on that immediately at the moment. If I want to be free of Aalborg and this damn medialogy thing so I can get on with my life, I have to ace whatever comes my way during this next month
Rhanite: So I'm nopt finding myself sitting down and brooding over it at this point in time. I'm sorry, but I'm not
Rhanite: I'd be happy to keep in contact with you - but beyond that I can't say. If I don't, I relatively sure things won't change - and I can't guarentee things will if I do
Rhanite: From where I'm sitting, you're the one pulling the plug and punching it back in - bandying that back and forth. Each time I have to make the switch of caring and distancing, I feel the warmth ebb out abit more
Salihah: Same here Elan.
Rhanite: And it's tiring and frustrating that I'm trying to do what I think is best, get yelled at for it, change to aquiesce you and make you feel better, get yelled at for that, and then have to change again
Rhanite: I don't find it entirely fair anymore and my patience for it is running out
Salihah: When did I yell?
Rhanite: I want to care about you, but I'm not going to if you keep pushing me away, pulling me close and then pushing me away again
Rhanite: figure of speech
Salihah: ah
Salihah: I understand what you mean,but the same way you don't know how to act/what to do in certain circumstances,I don't either.
Rhanite: Of course not, noone does. There'd be no thrill in it if it was just motions put through for show.
Rhanite: But there are just choices and consequences. you make your choices as best you can
Rhanite: So choose before the choice is made for you
Rhanite: You're stronger than this indecision, acknowledge that allready, damnit
Rhanite: You know what you goddamn want
Rhanite: So figure it out
Salihah: I'm scared..
Rhanite: Keep me as a friend or get rid of me, but please just decide allready - or at least... don't keep bouncing back and forth, pulling me along for the ride
Rhanite: Who the hell isn't?
Salihah: You're asking me to do what you yourself can't? :(
Rhanite: You learn the lessons that fear is going to teach you and you overcome it, or you falter, stall and crash
Rhanite: You're more decisive than I am
Rhanite: We've established this
Salihah: It's excruciating. I want you,and when I know that you yourself are willing to give it a try,how can I just cut it?
Rhanite: So then why suddenly push me away now?
Salihah: I thought I could tolerate it if we just took it easy till August,but seems like I can't,that's what my anger tells me. And then I think : Riiight,he's SO not gonna come in August Fay,don't be a fool
Rhanite: Take more time to figure it out then
Salihah: I gotta see you again,that's all I know Elan.
Salihah: Then I'll freaking know.
Salihah: I'll know for SURE.
Rhanite: If I am able to travel in August, I'm happy to come by. If I can't, because I don't have the funds, then I'll travel about when I can
Rhanite: I don't have the disposable assets to burn to travel europe on a whim at the moment, so I need to secure income and things first - since I'll soon have responsibilities to an old friend to live up to
Rhanite: Things that are out of my control are making the summer I'd planned seem less likely, to my great disappointment, but I'm working as hard as I can to make things fall into place
Rhanite: And with that on my plate, I just can't be strung along in this uncertainity
Rhanite: So find out if you can wait until I'm able to come visit. If you can, I'll come down as soon as I'm able. If not, just let me know.
Rhanite: You know I'm not lying to you
Rhanite: And that if I've said I'll come, I'll come
Rhanite: If that isn't good enough, then there's your answer
Salihah: How can I keep my mouth from saying words of affection,when I feel it? How can I keep my fingers from typing words and thoughs and feelings and ideas,how do I take away the longing and the dreams and the iamges that haunt my mind?
Salihah: I don't wanna lose you.
Salihah: But I don't know how to hold on either.
Rhanite: I can't give you that answer. I dealt with that in a very bad way when I was in your shoes, and I won't recommend you that.
Rhanite: I hate that I'm putting you in this position, but what else am I supposed to do?
Salihah: Give me some time to think,yeah?
Salihah: I'll get back to you.
Salihah: ANd ,please,don't think for a moment I wanna put you in a corner myself.
Rhanite: Sure. Please, make certain of your decision when you do then
Salihah: I will Elan.
Rhanite: Thank you, Fay
Salihah: Just..I may need to talk about this again,if questions arise.
Salihah: Can I,then?
Rhanite: Of course
Salihah: Don't give up on me okay?
Rhanite: That was never an issue. I justr want to know who I'm not giving up on.
Salihah: I falter too,Elan...I get torn by fear and indeciveness too...
Salihah: I'm only human..
Rhanite: Aren't we all
Salihah: Permission to blog this? I gotta have it,helps my thinking..
Rhanite: Blog anything you want - now and anytime from now
Salihah: Alright.
Rhanite: If I want you not to, I'll let you know
Salihah: *nod*
Rhanite: And you can do with that wat you please, at that time
Salihah: Alright Elan.
Salihah: I'm..gonna go now.
Rhanite: Allright
Salihah: Goodnight.
Rhanite: Have a good evening