Cantar De Procella

When I was a kid, the one recurrent dream I'd have every time I was stressed about something would be one where I'd be going to school with no shoes on. I still have the image clear in my head. Walking down Lefkosias str., back hunched cause of the weight of my school books on my rucksack. Looking down..always,looking down. And having to walk barefoot. It stressed me beyond words. My logic would occasionally kick in,especially when the stress became too much, to save the situation. Good ol'brain,oh how I love thee sometimes!

Later on the dream turned into something else. Exam time. Funnily enough, this appeared long after I had finished uni. Well, first degree at least. This time, when I'd get stressed, I'd be having this horrible feeling of sittig an exam next day (and a Math exam at that, always hated Math and sucked at it). I'd wake up in the middle of the night, and my brain would come to the rescue yet again : "Calm down Fay, you're not in school or uni any more,you're done with Math,there's nothing to worry about!".

The other night it was...quite different.

It was me,but as an adult now.
I was the same, but clearly matured and slimmer.Not too much. I was wearing an evening dress in a dark red/maroon color, embellished with some kind of black embroidery and black semi-precious stones. It went to my ankles,and was  floaty beneath the bust. The straps were wide and rested just a bit lower of my shoulders. On top of that I had a long white fur coat. Fake fur, of course, and not the thick kind. But it was snow white, and it looked so elegant and matching with the dress. My hair was done up in something like a bun but there were strands of hair loose here and there. I remember the ear ring too, they were big and long,the way I like them, like chandelier ear rings. I was even clutching a bag, an evening bag that matched the color of the dress.

But the shoes...ah,the shoes.
Or should i say...the shoe.
Yerp,I was only wearing one shoe. Something between a court shoe and a sandal, with the 3cm heel I prefer. It was of the same color as the dress and even had that same glittery effect on it. I remember looking at me, as if I was outside of myself watching my body, and thinking "now that's a beautiful woman alright". Then it was me again,trying to walk with just one shoe on. It felt awkward, but not bad. I remember walking in a place with people around me,and I'd be talking to people,laughing,even joking about the fact I lost my shoe somewhere and what an awkward but funny situation this is. I remember people laughing with me and joking about it too,all in good spirit,and then they didn't care about the shoe anymore even though I seemed preoccupied with it. Especially  men. They'd just look at me,in admiration.


When I woke up, took me a while before remembering I had dreamt this.
And I knew,I had to remember it.


Here's to hope.



Universe, don't leave me alone now.