Monday, August 19, 2013
Oneiros.
I paint my nails in a deep red.
I slide my tight pencil skirt on, it fits perfectly, right to my knees.
The black top with the V-neck, my new low heeled shoes.
No tights. For the first time in a lifetime. And let them see the marks.
The mirror.
I have a shape..
I actually, have a shape.
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A little tipsy, a glass in my hand. That's when the lyrics hit me.
I close my eyes, swinging away to the music, singing to myself.
Luke comes to mind. How could he not?
Attends-moi Attends-moi Je suis là
Attends-moi Attends-moi un peu
Si ma vie est là
Si tu y crois fort
Retiens-moi Retiens-moi encore
Tu voulais que j'aime notre histoire
Mais toi-même faisais semblant d'y croire
Moi je voulais apprendre ce que tu es
Ce que tu es vraiment ce que j'aimais
And right at that moment, right when it almost grips me, an angry voice shouts in my head.
ENOUGH!
OPEN YOUR EYES!
OPEN YOUR EYES RIGHT NOW!
I open them and I feel like I'm coming back from miles away. I turn around, and I see Mike. He's looking at me, his eyes like blue lava.
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Later, in between the sheets, it's not lovemaking.
It's warfare.
