Cantar De Procella

Two different moments in time, the same words.

Tuesday night, on the phone. His voice softens up, I can hear him smiling.
"I love you Fay pal."

No you don't.
And the fact that you dare use that word in such a disrespectful, light, superficial not to mention manipulative way says a whole lot about who you are.

You expected me to run to you the moment you needed me didn't ya?
You thought I was the same girl that fell madly in love with you all that time ago and that you would still be a priority in my life, and you could just come and go whenever you liked.
And when you saw I just don't give a damn any more, the heavy arsenal came out.
"I love you Fay".

I don't bite, pal.


Last night.

He greets me, he's smiling.
For the frst time ever, he greets me by calling me "my love".
I can hardly believe it.
I'm astounded, and my heart actually flattered for a moment.
Only for a moment.

That one, was honest.
I could feel it.
It evoked a reaction in me, it actually made me FEEL.

Is it true? Is it real?
No.

But even though it was said in a lightweight, superficial way, it was honest, playful, and an attempt to communicate the change we both feel lately.

It made me smile.



If only I wasn't still bleeding...


You called me needy.
In a fit of cruelty, you mocked me, thinking I wallow in self-pitty.

Your ignorance is terrifying.
Time is on my side.
You'll see.
Possibly, cause you never know. You might just be dead inside already.

The good part is, when that happens, I won't even care.

And that, makes me smile. ;)